Two Worlds, One Door
by Roxai-Concord411
Summary: A sword, a door that connects one world and the next, evil villians... and how the two boys caught in the middle of it all have to put up with it. Rated T for violence and censored swearing. Oh, and people, don't be afraid to review. Please R and R, fans!
1. Prologue

Welcome, everyone. This is the first fic that Jacob and I will be submitting on this site, so I hope you enjoy this small prologue. Jordan.

* * *

_**Long, long ago, and even long before that...**_

_**A great god ravaged the lands, searing the world. **_

_**Nothing could stand before his wrath.**_

_**But when all hope had died, and the hour of doom drew nigh...**_

_**A hero appeared, wielding little more than a sword and an ancient light.**_

_**When he heard of the world's plight, he said only this:**_

"_**I will try to fight this evil."**_

_**With his courage and wisdom, the hero approached the evil god, and sealed him away.**_

_**And when peace returned, he hid his sacred blade, and vanished…**_

* * *

"No! Jacob! Lucas! _Run!!_"

Jordan immediately woke up, sweating. Groping around, he grabbed his glasses, put them on, then found the switch to the lamp next his bed and turned it on.

Lying back, he thought about what he had just dreamed. _What...was that? I remember running..._

But no matter what he did, he couldn't remember what the dream was about. The only thing he _could_ remember was that he was running with two people next to him; one of them was his friend, Jacob, and the other... well, he didn't have a clue who the other one was, to be honest.

He checked his clock. 3:34. School wouldn't be for another five hours.

Taking off his glasses, he lied back down, contemplating the dream, as well as thinking about the discovery that he and Jacob had discovered only yesterday...

* * *

"Hm? Huh? Whuh? Who's there? What?"

Nearly knocking over the lava lamp on the nightstand next to his bed, Jacob turned on the light.

Seeing that no one was there, he lied back down. He must've had another dream again. It was really bizarre; he thought that someone called Yahtzee was somehow involved. He considered telling Jordan about it at school, but he would probably refuse to hear it anyway; he always said that his dreams were just plain weird.

Speaking of Jordan, he wondered if he had put _that _back yet. He hoped that he did, but knowing Jordan, he would probably forget to do so.

Rolling over onto his side, he considered talking to Jordan about it when he saw him.

* * *

It's a start. I know it's short, but try to bear with me.

Here are some things I'd like to mention:

1.Yes, I wear glasses.

2.Yes, Jacob's dreams tend to be just plain weird.

3.No, I'm not telling you what the thing Jordan was supposed to put back is until the next chapter.

4. The discovery, as I put it, will be revealed the in next chapter.


	2. Mad Jocks and Red Swords

Jacob (My friend and cowriter) and I worked hard on this, so I hope you like it_._

Chapter 1

Mad Jocks and Red Swords

_"What?"_

The good thing about the cafeteria at their local high school was that everyone else was making so much noise that it was always hard for Jordan and Jacob to be overheard. The latter stared at his friend, sandwich halfway to his mouth.

"Like I said," Jordan said, annoyed, "I haven't put it back yet, I want to have another look at it--"

"You've had more than enough time to look at it when we found it, Jordan!"

"Why are you so angry, anyway? I only borrowed it for a bit--" Jordan protested, but Jacob cut him off again.

"In other words, you _stole_ it!"

"If I _stole_ it, then that means _you _also stole the feather!"

"How do you figure _that_?"

"Well, I--"

Again, they were interrupted, this time by what sounded like a loud war shriek. They both turned around to see what looked like a senior jump onto a table, tear off his shirt, and start pouring mustard and ketchup onto his chest. Several girls squealed at the sight, and one junior yelled, "Yeah! Fight da man!"

The only people in the entire cafe who were creeped out by this were Jordan and Jacob. The former slowly turned to face the latter, wearing the half-lidded look he always wore when creeped out. "I say we go to the gym, _posthaste_."

"I agree."

* * *

"What? I couldn't get that."

"I said--"

Whenever a student was done with their lunch, they usually went to the balcony in the gym. Unfortunately, the same level of weirdness Jordan and Jacob encountered in the cafeteria was also present here. Not to mention that the noise level was higher than it usually was. Doing his best to ignore the people breakdancing on the gym floor, (And the people on their left singing "Odo the Hero") Jordan appeared to be in deep thought, as usual, and, as usual, it took several seconds for Jacob to get his attention.

"Jordan, are you listening to me?"

"No."

"I'll take that as a yes. Anyway--"

"Jacob, if it makes you happy, I'll put the thing back where we found it, as long as _you_ but back that feather."

"That's fair enough. Thank you."

Silence.

"Does anyone _else_ know about it?"

"Of _course_ not," said Jordan. "Don't you think it'll bring up awkward questions?"

"Oh, yeah…" Jacob said, "I see what you mean. But are you _sure_ we need to keep it secret?"

"Yes. I have a bad feeling that if we do tell someone about it, something bad might happen."

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it instinct."

More silence. More would have been said, but someone ran past them streaking followed by people in togas, so the mood was broken (Shattered into pieces is more like it...).

* * *

Jordan's sister Hilary thought today was a hoot.

"Are you serious, Hilary?" Meredith (Jordan's other sister) asked.

"Yes! People were skinny-dipping! Ask Jordan, he'll tell you!"

"Very well. Jordan, were people skinny-dipping?"

This only made Jordan run up the stairs more quickly.

Entering his room, he threw down his book bag, then sat down and looked out his window, deep in thought.

Five minutes later, he heard the door open, but didn't do anything until he heard Jacob talking to his mother.

He jumped up, threw open the door, then sped down the stairs like a panicked gazelle.

There was Jacob, wearing his usual attire, including his grey-with-green-sleeves jacket, and speaking with Jordan's mother.

"Jacob, what're you doing here?"

"Just, you know, _doing homework._" he said this while winking, implying that he was hinting at something secret. Jordan got the hint.

"Er, mom, Jacob and I need to study, so can you call us when dinner is ready?"

"Sure, but if you intend to have Jacob Stew, we'll need a bigger pot." Jordan ignored the comment.

* * *

Azilla, the cat, stared at Jacob as he entered Jordan's room.

"Hello," he said.

All she did was blink at him, then resumed licking her paw.

_Nice reception,_ he thought as he sat down on Jordan's bed. He gave his friend a look. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"You _know_ what!"

"Oh… OHHHH!… I don't get it."

Jacob slapped his forehead at the mere silliness of his friend. "The you-know-what from yesterday, Jordan."

"Oh, right! That thing."

He crouched and reached underneath the bed.

"You kept it under your bed?" Jacob asked in disbelief.

"No one looks under it," Jordan said calmly.

"Good point," Jacob agreed.

After rummaging a bit, Jordan pulled out what he was looking for.

"Found it." It was a sword. With a golden edge, a dark red blade, and a bronze hilt, it gleamed in the light coming from the lamp, making it seem almost ethereal. "Nice lookin', huh?"

"Oh suuuuuuure, big, fancy, artsy-fartsy sword, big deal."

"What's with you?"

"Nothing, I just think the madness is because of the lack of the sword… being _there._"

"Right, but maybe we're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe the feather is making these pseudo-natural phenomenon. Do you have the feather?"

"Wha--oh, yeah."

Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out a black feather. It was a creepy looking thing, blacker than the darkest night. "Is this what you wanted?" Jacob asked.

"Of course it is. What do you think I meant?"

"Darth Vader's helmet." Jacob said while pulling that idiotic 'I-made-a-moronic-joke-on-purpose' smile.

"That was not necessary."

"Yeah, I know, sorry…" _Swiiiing_… and a miss. "Anyway, here it is." Jacob handed Jordan the feather. Meanwhile, Jacob leaned close to the door. He could hear Jordan's mom and two sisters laughing, as well as what sounded to be the news person doing the cha-cha to old ragtime music.

Jordan examined the feather closely. "Kinda creepy… it must have come from a bird the size of--gah!"

He dropped the feather, as it had started to melt in his hand. It disintegrated completely before it even hit the ground. Both boys stared at the spot where it had vanished, then looked at each other, Jacob frightened, Jordan hopelessly confused.

"Oh great… IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNO-- owww!" Jacob was silenced by Jordan's slap.

Hilary's voice came up from downstairs. "Shut up, you morons, otherwise I'll summon the mighty _wizard_!"

Jordan looked at the door. "Okay, maybe we should be quiet."

"You hit me!"

"Either _that_ or you get pulverized by a wizard, Jacob."

"A _wizard_?Jordan, think for a moment_. _How do you think Hilary would be able to summon a wizard? Think about that?"

Jordan stared at Jacob for a moment, then sighed.

Jacob muttered something unintelligible in response, while from downstairs, Meredith yelled, "Dinnertime, you two!" As they moved into the kitchen, Jacob noticed Hilary whining at the T.V. screen.

"Come on, I don't care if you're embarrassed, do it again!" The newscaster has started to calm down. Jacob suddenly realized a few things; the feather wasn't just the cause of everything weird; the weird things had probably spread! Either that or everyone had decided that it was Act Like a Total Loon Day. He wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter. He had to alert Jordan to this soon.

* * *

"So, what were you two studying up there?" Jordan's mother ask conversationally.

"Uh…" Jordan stuttered. He had absolutely no idea what to say. Jacob, however, knew exactly what to say.

"We were studying for a history test next Thursday."

"Oh, really?"

Jordan decided to change the subject. "So, how was your day, Mom?"

"Oh, it was pretty weird. Karen was running around covered in toilet paper and Joe was singing into his ballpoint pen."

Jordan stared at his mother, his spoon halfway to his mouth.

Hilary decided to comment. "That reminds me, some weird stuff was happening at school today."

As she described the day's events to her mother, Jordan gave Jacob a glance that said, _When you're done, meet me upstairs. _Jacob got the hint, and was moving into the kitchen when Hilary rudely jabbed his side.

"Put my glass in too, would ya, Shortstack?"

* * *

Later, back in Jordan's room, the teen himself took the sword out and sat on his bed. Glancing at Jacob, he said, "Soooo…. Ya _reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally_ wanna put the sword back, don't ya?"

"Duh." was Jacob's foreseen response.

"Well, let's go then."

"What, now?"

"In your own words, 'Duh'," Jordan said, mimicking him perfectly.

"Great!" Jacob stood and turned to the door, but stopped. "Uh… what excuse will we give to your mom for us to go out?"

"We'll tell her that I lost something on the way back from the library yesterday."

Jacob thought for a moment. "You'd think she'd buy that?"

"It's on the way to the library anyway, Jacob. We wouldn't be lying… really."

"Alright." Jacob said, after making his mind up. "Let's go!"

* * *

--20 minutes of sore-soled walking (back in time)--

_**(Jacob: We're kidding. But seriously, 20 minutes have passed.**_

_**Jordan: Just not back in time.)**_

"Hey, didn't we just leave your house a second ago?"

Jordan barely glanced at his friend as he trudged forward. "No, we left twenty minutes ago, don't you remember?"

"What--oh, never mind."

The two of them had been walking through the woods for a bit, but so far they had not found what they had been looking for.

Then a thought occurred to Jacob. "You know, we're in the middle of nowhere, so you can take the sword out of your jacket."

As prompted, Jordan took the sword out, which glinted brightly in the setting sun, nearly blinding them both.

"Gah!" Jacob's vision was, well, orange. Jordan, however, seemed to be overreacting.

"Aaagh! I've been blinded!!"

When the psychedelic orange blends of color left their lines of sight, what they saw was a rusty old door set in a tree. The thing was positively ancient; vines nearly covered it completely.

Jordan smirked. "Found it."

* * *

The hallway behind the door was…bland. The walls, floor, and ceiling were a dark grey, looking so boring that it was amazing that the two boys didn't melt from it.

_**(Jacob: What the heck does MELTING have to do with this?!**_

_**Jordan: The hallway is BORING, Jacob! How can anyone NOT melt at the sight of it?**_

_**Jacob: Ugh… you are hopeless … Lousy…)**_

Anyway… ignoring that…They walked down the short, bland hallway. There was a small door at the end, which they opened, and led to a lightly taller and longer hallway, of the same color scheme and decorum, right down to the pillars and raven statues. Jacob looked at said statues with extreme distain.He couldn't wait to replant the sword and possibly end all the madness that's been going around. But then again, he wasn't entirely sure that it would stop even if they did.

They finally crossed the 100-ft. hallway to a normal-sized door, and opened it. On the other side, it was a _complete _contrast to all the bland, grey rooms that preceded it. On the other side, lay a 100-ft. tall, 500-ft. wide, stark white room with super sized versions of everything, the pillars, the raven statues… but there was something here that wasn't in any other room: a podium with a sword less pedestal.

"Well," Jacob said. "Here we are, Jordan."

"Ugh… _finally_!" Jordan gasped/yelled. Unfortunately, since they were in such a spacious room, there was a loud roaring echo of Jordan's earlier "Finally!" that rebounded off the walls. And as this is fan fiction, I am going to go ahead and had Jordan enter an imaginary argument.

"You know, you don't have to feel miserable about it." Jordan 'told' the wall. The wall mirrored his response. "_You know, you don't have to be so miserable about it!" _However, there was something… edgy… about the wall's 'response'.

"Stop being idiotic." Jordan commanded the wall. The wall, again, parroted his response back to him. "_Stop being idiotic._"

"I'm not being the idiot; **you're** the idiot!" Jordan was getting fed up.

"_I'm not being the idiot; __**you're**__ the idiot!"_ The saucy echo responded.

"You're an idiot!" Jordan was ready to hit something.

"_You're an idiot!_" The wall responded.

Jordan stayed silent for a moment, then yelled, "**I'm** an idiot!"

"_You're an idiot!!"_

Jordan looked extremely irritated; he inhaled to yell a response (meanwhile, Jacob was covering his ears from the sheer volume of the 'argument'), but he suddenly had a thought; he started to _whisper_ his response.

"_Ha ha, you stupid structure,_" Jordan mocked in a hoarse whisper. "_I'm going to whisper everything I say, so by the time the sound waves from my voice reverberate off the walls, and come back to me , I'll have left the room, and thus, it won't come back to me!_" Jordan grinned at his 'victory'. Surprisingly, the wall responded, but with the previous, loud "_You're an idiot!_" from earlier in the argument. This scared the wits out of the two boys. They looked at each other, then decided to briskly walk to the other side. Once at the pedestal for the sword, Jacob noticed something missing from the raven statue to the left. "I think this is where I found those feathers." There was a small gap in the raven bust's plumage, indicating feathers were missing. He looked over at Jordan. He was in front of the pedestal, which was in front of the huge door--wait, the wasn't a door before when they first--

"Jordan, wait!"

"What'd'ya mean,_ wait_?" Jordan inquired. "May I remind you, _you_ were the one who practically _begged_ me to come with you to do this!"

"Jordan, look." Jacob pointed to the door. "Don't you think that we would've noticed something like this 50-ft. tall door?"

"Now that you mention it-- no, I don't remember-- wait for me!" Jacob had grabbed one end of the huge doorway and started to pull.

"Jordan, I _have_ to know what's on the other side!"

Jordan was irritated past the point of arguing. "Ugh… _fine_…"

"R-really?" Jacob was surprised by the fact that Jordan agreed with him so suddenly.

"Yeah, I mean, you dragged me here, so I may as well be of some use."

"Okay then, get on the other side, and _pull!_ Pull like you're getting _paid_ for it!"

"Aye aye, Mr. Gibbs." Jordan retorted, going along with the joke.

Jacob was on the left half of the door, Jordan on the right, and they started to pull. Despite the door's massive size, it was surprisingly easy to open. Another thing that was surprising was what was _behind_ the door. The two boys stared lack-jawed at the sight that lay before them. It was a large plain, with beautiful grass swaying in the gentile breeze, a mountainside far out on the horizon, a sea to the right, and a valley with a trail leading down into the left, to what appeared to be a town.

"I-it's… amazing," was Jordan's response.

"…Wow…" was Jacob's.

_**(Jordan: Pretty, huh?**_

_**Jacob:… huh? Oh, sorry, I was still looking at the scenery. You were saying?**_

_**Jordan: That's the third time you've done that this chapter!! …Lousy…)**_

It was a good, long five minutes before any thought registered in Jordan's mind.

"I'm going to go on ahead and look, okay?"

That snapped Jacob out of his scenery-induce trance. "Wait! Your mom should be expecting us home by now, shouldn't she?"

"Oh, well, I guess you're right…" Jordan said, somewhat reluctantly. They ran out, closing the door behind them, Jordan still with the sword in his grip.

* * *

After getting a _very_ strict lecture from Jordan's mom ("Where have you been?!", etc.), the two went back to Jordan's room and pondered over the days events.

"Ah…" Jacob sighed with relief. "The madness stopped. AND we replanted the sword, too!"

"First off, Jacob, I have a feeling we're just witnessing the _beginning _of all this madness; don't ask, just a hunch. Second, I agree, we should investigate that whole 'plain-door-thingamajig' a bit more over the weekend. Third, I don't think that _we_ actually stopped it ourselves; it looked like all of that madness stopped by itself. Fourth, do you realized the last part of what you just said?"

Jacob pondered for a moment about what he meant. Then he looked at Jordan's hand. _It still had the sword in it!_ Jacob slapped his forehead at the stupidity of the situation.

"I can't believe we forgot to do the one thing we went there to do in the first place!" Jacob accidentally muttered out loud.

"Eh," Jordan said lazily, "All the more reason to go back." The two boys broke down in laughter… until Hilary yelled up to them.

"Hey, you dorks! Stop being loud, or I'll summon The Wizard!" This quieted them down.

* * *

Jordan: Well, that was interesting, I suppose. Jacob, what do you think?

Jacob: Great! The setting has been set, plot devices have been revealed… I mean, you couldn't ask for a better beginning!

Jordan: Okay…thanks for that opinion…I think… ANYWAY, the next chapter will be more--well, I won't say yet until I get the next one ready. Even then, however, I will only post the next one depending on the reader's opinions on it.

Jacob: Funny that you've thought out the beginning _and_ the ending by the way, yet neither of us have come up with a body to the story… somewhat like a sandwich, but with only the slices of bread.

Jordan: Good point. Anyway, the next chapter will come up when:

a) We receive 10 _positive_ reviews, or

b) if that doesn't happen, when a week has passed.

Jacob: The next chapter will be absolutely _filled to the brim_ with plot twists.

Jordan: I wouldn't say that, but we need to retire for the moment. I hope you liked this chapter. By the way, here's some trivia: the raven statues weren't at the door _initially. Plus,_ there was someone doing those echoes to annoy Jordan, but that'll be explained later.

Jacob: Now, it's Disclaimer time! The sword retrieved in The Hallway is _supposed_ to look like the starting weapon for Tidus in Final Fantasy 10, which is copyrighted by Square Enix. Sorry if it took you this long to get the imagery through. Until next time!

--


	3. Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

--

Jordan: We're back, ladies and gentlemen. Jacob is shaving (for once), so he won't mind if we start now.

Jacob: (in the bathroom) Hey! Don't start without me!

Jordan: Okay, okay. In this chapter, one of the main characters, Jordan (Just to remind you all, the Jordan and Jacob in the story are _not_ the same as me and my cowriter) will be going through an emotional phase here. It won't be the first… anyway, we need to get started, but Jacob is taking too long--

Jacob: (bursting in) Okay! Done! Let's start the show!

Jordan: Oi… we might as well get started, so let's get it on!!

Jacob: Oh!! One announcement… there will be Music Inserts in this chapter. These are the names of the songs that go along with the scene that you are free and welcome to look up and play to your reading of this fanfic.

Jordan: This means, of course, that if, say, you have some music player of some sort and have that music listed in the story in it, you can play that music while you read if you want to. It may sound stupid, but hey, it's fun to pretend, right?

* * *

Chapter Two

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

"_Hey, I'm back in the meadow…" True, Jacob was seeing the strange meadow that he and Jordan found last night. However, there was something different about this time, for some reason…_

_(The Super Smash Bros. Brawl version of Song of Storms plays in the background)_

"_There's… music? From a sort of dense, wooden instrument, if my guess is right. Where's it coming from?" Jacob decided to walk further to find out. The plain only had a few hills, so traversing the place wasn't all that difficult. After climbing somewhere near the fifth hill, he came upon a tree stump, and the producer of the music was leaning against it. Jacob just didn't expect HER to be so… cute. The young girl was playing what looked to be a wooden ocarina. She was facing the sea, so he got a full view of her facial features, as well. She had purple eyes, twilight-orange hair done up in a spiky ponytail, a yellow scarf, green jeans (he didn't have a clue WHY green, of all colors), a belt, steel-toes tennis shoes, and a white t-shirt with light-blue fade-in/out binary code._

"_That was a beautiful song." Jacob said when she had finished. She seemed initially startled._

"_Oh!… uh, sorry, I don't get a lot of visitors here…Wait, you thought it was good?"_

"_Yeah. That's a cool ocarina you have, where'd you buy it from?"_

"_I actually made it myself. I go into town once in a while to sell them."_

"_Wow! Really? What detail!" Jacob was fascinated that this young woman could make beautiful instruments as well as music that was equal in caliber._

"_Oh, well, thanks…" The girl said, a bit nervously, not used to compliments. "Not a lot of people acknowledge my tal--" She was cut off by her ocarina collapsing because she accidentally put a bit too much pressure on one of the holes._

"_Aw man, it broke! All that hard work you did…" The young woman was surprised at this boy's concern. He was actually caring about her and her belongings… and we wasn't making an idiot out of himself , like most people she had met some time in her life._

"_What's your name, miss?" He suddenly asked, seemingly comfortable with her company._

"_I'm--" she mouthed something, but no sound came out. "What's yours?"_

"_I'm Jacob." He said, seemingly ignoring the weird 'silence'._

* * *

Jacob awoke from the dream feeling.. rather good about himself. "That girl was… cute… I can't wait to tell Jor--" Wait, what was he thinking? Jacob often weird dreams, so his track record of such would help to make Jordan pay attention. "Hmm… I'll tell him about it some other day." He said as he got up to get dressed for the day.

Before he could actually do so, however, Hilary slammed the door open. "Arise, ye heathen pigs, lest I smother you in waffles and powdered nutmeg!"

_**(Jordan: I'm not joking, Hilary makes that sort of comment sometimes. And she ALWAYS means it.**_

_**Jacob: Okay, I understand the comments, but have you actually WITNESSED these events?**_

_**Jordan:…No comment.)**_

* * *

0ddly enough, neither of the two boys went back to the door over the past week. After that day, Jordan seemed to become more and more depressed, often making excuses to be alone and always ignoring people when they came to call on him. Jacob (and everyone else for that matter) were becoming increasingly concerned over his behavior. However, nothing seemed to happen until the next Saturday…

* * *

_It was completely silent. No one was there. He was not entirely sure that he was there himself._

_Almost as soon as he thought this, he heard what sounded like someone sobbing nearby. It made him feel like he was intruding on something furtive, shameful._

_He turned around to see the source of the noise, and he saw a young child, twelve or thirteen at the most, sitting merely feet away from him, his hands over his eyes, sobbing shamelessly._

_He took an uncertain step towards the boy. He knew that he should comfort him, yet he felt that this was something he was not meant to do, as if someone else was suppose to help the child. _

_He felt like a coward._

_Nevertheless, he walked toward the boy, stooped down to his level, and placed a hand on his shoulder._

_At this, the boy looked up into his face. His blonde hair was in a cowlick, and tears were still running down his face from his eyes._

"_W-who are you?" the child asked, sounding frightened._

"_Relax," Jordan asked calmly. "I'm not going to hurt you or anything. Can you tell me what's wrong?"_

_The boy looked down at his feet, tears still dripping from his cheeks. "M-mommy and Daddy are gone, and m-my brother is…is…"_

_He broke into another wave of sobbing._

"_Whoa, take it easy!" The child looked into Jordan's face again as the latter brushed the tears off his cheeks. "You say your parents and brother are missing? Maybe I can help you find them."_

_The boy looked as if he could hardly believe his ears. "R-really, mister?"_

"_Of course. By the way, what's your name?"_

_The young boy scuffed his shoe on the ground. "M-my name's L--"_

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT._

No matter how much Jacob tried, he couldn't concentrate on his homework. He kept trying to read the assignment paper, but he never took any of it in. Turning it over, he saw that there was more of it and gave it up as a bad job. _I can always deal with it later, I guess._ The distractions didn't stop when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

That was Jacob's mother.

"No, he isn't here, why?…_What?!_ Okay…alright, we'll come right away!"

_There's NO way that can be good! _Jacob thought. "Mom, what's wrong?"

"Jordan's missing."

"W-_what_?!"

* * *

Jordan's house was in a perpetual state of pandemonium. Police cruisers blocked the driveway, and police were moving in and out of the house, asking questions, looking for clues, you get the idea.

After his mother's car pulled up in front of the house, Jacob jumped out and saw Jordan's mother sitting on the porch, her head in her hands, clutching a crumpled piece of paper in her right hand.

After dodging two police officers and a CSI (If you can call it a crime scene yet), he managed to approach her. "Are you okay?"

She looked up at him. "Do I look like I'm okay?" she whispered. She handed the paper to him. "I'm far from okay. Read this and you'll see why."

Taking it, Jacob realized it was a note:

_Oh, the torment bred in the race,_

_the grinding scream of Death_

_and the stroke that hits the vein,_

_The hemorrhage none can staunch, the grief,_

_The curse that no man can bear._

_But there is a cure in the house,_

_And not outside it, no,_

_Not from others but from them,_

_Their bloody strife. We sing to you,_

_Dark gods beneath the earth._

_Now hear, you blissful powers underground--_

_Answer the call, send help,_

_Bless the children, give them triumph now._

_And thus, I shall walk the path in Death,_

_That which I seek is not in vain,_

_Yet falls to the black earth_

_And destroys the power of the mortal,_

_And in so doing, I shall die forever._

_J__._

Jacob had to read this over several times before looking up.

"What does it mean?"

With what seemed to be some difficulty, she looked into Jacob's eyes. "I--I think it's a suicide note."

And she began to cry in earnest.

Jacob stopped completely dead. He could not imagine, even for a second, that Jordan would contemplate dying, it seemed so unlikely, just completely unreal--

He looked at the note again, and found that there was something wrong about it.

"I don't even think he wrote this at all, Ms."

She looked up. "Wh-what do you mean?"

" 1), it's in pen. Jordan_ always_ writes in pencil, and

2), it's in cursive, which Jordan finds too incredibly tedious to write.

3), it's not even his handwriting."

Without another word, she grabbed it out of his hand and stared at it for a full five seconds before looking at him again.

"Wh-what do you think this would mean?" she asked.

"What I _know for a fact_ is that Jordan's still out there somewhere."

* * *

After about an hour of discussion, as well as Jacob telling the police about what he knew about the note, the police had decided that the was a possibility that there might've been foul play. Jordan's mother nearly fainted, while Meredith refused to believe it and Hilary had declared that anyone unfortunate enough to try to do something to her brother would have found it better not to have bothered with him at all, as he would've probably bored the socks off of them.

After the long discussion, Jacob went up to Jordan's room.

It was a complete mess. Clothes and other things were strung around the place; drawers hand been pulled out and the closet door had nearly been torn off its hinges. He checked underneath the totaled bed.

No sword.

He stood there for a few minutes, completely frozen.

He knew where Jordan had gone.

* * *

_(The song 'Midna's Lament' from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess plays in the backround)_

It had started raining on his way to the woods, but he wouldn't have cared less about getting wet.

For some reason, Jordan's cat, Azilla had stared following Jacob as he left the house. At first, he had tried to get her to stay, but after failing spectacularly at this, decided to go with the flow. Now he was carrying her under his coat to keep her from getting wet.

After five minutes of walking, he finally found the old door in the tree. He was about to walk in, when his cell phone rang. Carefully setting down Azilla, he got his phone out, flipped it open, and answered. "Hello?"

"Yo, Bro!" It was Colton, Jacob's cousin.

"Hey, Colton. Look, this isn't the best of times right now."

"Why not?"

"Jordan's missing."

There was a pause on Jacob's end of the line, then he heard an exhaled breath, and heard Colton again. "That… just sucks, man… I mean... yea, you got any leads yet?"

"I think I just found a big one." He said, Horatio-Caine-esque. He put his phone back in his pocket, picked up Azilla, and started running through the door, all the while thinking, "What will happen if we go through the door again? Will it stay open? Will it disappear? Will another one appear elsewhere? Will we ever get back?"

--

_(The Super Smash Bros. Brawl version of Snowman Mother series plays in the backround)_

As he entered the main hall, Azilla running beside him, he saw Jordan slowly walking toward the door, the sword in his belt.

"Wait!"

At this, he stopped, then turned around to look at Jacob.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"The sword was gone." Jacob said plainly.

"…Oh." was Jordan's response.

He stared at Jacob, his face quite expressionless. At last, he said, "Can you please leave me alone, Jacob?"

"No! Do you know how much everyone's worrying about you?"

Jordan stared at him again, looking confused. "What d'you mean?"

"I _mean _that practically half the town is looking for you! Didn't you tell anyone that you were going somewhere?!"

Jordan blinked. "Err…no, I forgot to-- wait, half the town? What are you talking about?"

As Jacob explained what everyone was doing, Jordan looked more and more confused. When he was done, he said, "A note? I didn't leave any note."

"I know that--"

"And you say that everyone is worried about me?"

"YES! What part of that don't you get?!"

"I get all of what you said. It's just that--well--"

"What?"

Jordan rubbed the back of his neck and turned around. "Well, I…em…oh, never mind."

Judging from his tone, Jacob could see that there was no way of getting any more from his friend. He changed the subject. "Why are you here, anyway?"

Jordan faced him again. "I've been having a rough week, Jacob. I needed some time to myself, and I can't really find anywhere else more private, so I came here to be alone for a bit."

Jacob looked relieved that it wasn't more serious. "Okay… just don't go running off before notifying me or your mom, or my mom, or the Queen of England, for that matter!"

_**(Jordan: Jacob, do you have any rational thought or reasoning at all?**_

_**Jacob: You know full well that I do those things purely for comic relief!)**_

Ignoring the Queen of England comment (No offense to her majesty), Jordan nodded. "I'll try to remember. Maybe we should head back."

Before he could take one step back, however, the door leading outside slammed shut.

"Uhh… I don't suppose you planned that, Jordan?"

Judging from the look he gave him, he didn't.

"…………ca…….."

"Eh?"

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!"

_(The Super Smash Bros. Brawl version of Unfounded Revenge/Smashing Song of Praise Mother 3 plays in the background)_

Now, imagine a twenty-foot raven zooming from the ceiling, with the intention of dive-bombing and killing you. Now, what, may I ask, would you do?

"DUCK!" Jacob grabbed Jordan by the shirt sleeve and pulled down hard, just missing the beak of the oversized avian.

As the overgrown pigeon/peacock/ostrich/whatever flew over their heads, Jordan leaped up with the sword in his hand, barely thinking about what he was thinking. As the bird dived for them again, he did something rather stupid.

He leapt onto the bird's back as it flew by.

_**(Jordan: You have to admit, that is stupid. I don't think I was thinking there.)**_

Of course, no bird likes having a sixteen-year-old-boy on its back. As Jordan lifted up the sword, probably to slice into its back, it did a barrel roll, causing him to fall off and land on Jacob in the process.

"Ow! You could at least watch where you fall!"

Ignoring this, Jordan leapt up and grabbed Jacob by the arm, lifting him up. He saw only one way out of the room, and knew that they had only seconds before the giant bird attempted to eat them.

And so, he practically dragged Jacob toward the giant door (Picking up Azilla in the process) as the giant raven started to fly toward them again.

"Good thinking! It won't fit through the door… will it?" Jacob asked Jordan as the three of them (including Azilla) through the door.

"I don't know and I don't care and all I want is for the three of us to live! LIIIIIIIIIIVE!!"

By the time he finished saying this, they had passed through the door.

As Jacob had expected, the bird did not fit--completely, anyway. It managed to fit its head through, but all it could do was to screech and snap its beak at them.

Jordan stared at the bird as it writhed, the sword in his hand. He had almost considered attacking the bird with it, but before he could decide on anything, the bird stopped moving and stared at them.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, and then--as unlikely as it seemed, the raven actually smiled at them. And then, it started wriggling backwards through the door, until it was completely out.

Both boys were thoroughly confused…until they saw the bird actually stand up and slammed the door shut.

And as soon as it did so, the door vanished.

Jacob looked stricken. "D-door…go…bye…bye…" Then without warning, he started sobbing uncontrollably. "We're never gonna get back now!"

Jordan's reaction, however, was more delayed. He simply stared at where the door vanished as he walked toward the spot, looking strangely calm. As soon as he reached the spot, however, he started to slam his fists against the wall where the door was, practically sobbing.

"No!" he cried, "NO! This can't be happening! It can't be!!"

"Maybe-- no, it's stupid…" Jacob said to himself, wiping the tears from his own face.

With that, he slammed his fist against the wall. "_Why does it have to be us?!_" he yelled. "Wait, you say something?" Jordan said after recovering from his earlier rage dump.

Jacob looked like he was struggling with his thoughts, then said somewhat reluctantly, "I was thinking, maybe…maybe the door just moved, not disappeared."

Jordan stared at him. "And how do you figure that?! Even if it did, we have now idea where it is! We don't even know where we are!!"

"Jeez, I know what a bad idea it was, but you don't have to take it out on me.." Jacob muttered. "At least this way, we can do what you wanted to do last week and explore."

Jordan merely stared at him, then walked over to a nearby rock and sat down, his head in his hands. "Don't you get it?" he whispered. "We don't know where we are. We don't know how to get home. I don't even know if we'll ever get back. And you act as if nothing's wrong?" He looked up at him. "Don't you realize that we might never get home? What'll your parents think?"

Jacob was silent for a moment, then said, "Don't you think I'm panicked enough as it is? I already know we aren't going to get back, you don't have to rub salt on the wound!", then walked off in a random direction.

Jordan stared off in his direction. _Ouch…_

_-- 20 minutes of MORE sore-soled walking later--_

"Hey," Jordan said after a lot of awkward, silent tension. "Sorry I unloaded on you like that."

"Yeah, I didn't mean to insult you either. Let's take a break, there seems to be a small forest ahead." Indeed, there was a forest, the entrance of which was marked with a stone large enough to both lean against and sit on. The two decided this was where their rest stop would be.

"Hey, you know, you never gave me that note you told me about." Jordan told Jacob.

"Oh yeah!" Jacob stood up, reached into his pocket, grabbed the note, and gave it to Jordan. "I never thought it was you who wrote it, anyway."

"Why would I write something so… depressing?" Jordan then read the note over again, silently to himself. "It looks like it was written by Edgar Allan Poe or some other depressing novelist. And why's it signed 'J'?"

"Your mom and sisters thought **you** wrote that as some sort of suicide note."

"W-what?!" Jordan was alarmed.

"I told the police that little fact, and--"

"The _cops_ are involved?!" Now it seemed he would have a heart attack out of pure shock.

"Not like they think you're a fugitive, they just want to look for you to see that you're okay."

"You sure?" Jordan seemed more calm, yet apprehensive.

"Yea." Jacob assured him.

"Well, what do the police think now?"

"They think foul play."

"Are you serious?!" Now it seemed he would have an epileptic episode. "What does my family think about all this?"

"Don't worry, your mom fainted--" Jordan grew anxious. "--me and Meredith both opposed the idea _adamantly_--" Jordan seemed more calmed. "--and Hilary, well…" Jacob started to giggle a little.

"Are you insulting my sister?" Jordan seemed a tiny bit offended.

"No, no… well, do you want me to quote her directly?"

"I guess." Jordan calmed back down.

"Well, she said, and I quote--" He went into a generic Hilary-esque pose. "--anyone stupid or bland enough to catch my brother is obviously better off not doing so, due to the fact that my brother has no character, any ocular, verbal, or physical contact would result in instant death for his captor."

"W-wha-ha-ha-hat?!" Jordan was now trying to catch his breath from laughing at how well Jacob had impersonated his sister, and that it _would_ be something she would say.

"So you see, everything is going to be all--"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKK!!" A great roar sounded over the vicinity, followed by a large gust of wind, then stillness.

"Huh, that was weird, wasn't it Jor- Jordan?" Jacob looked around. Jordan had suddenly

vanished.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Jacob looked up to see his friend being carried away by an armored dragon with a conspicuously-placed gem on it's back.

_(The theme of Argorok from Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess plays in the background)_

_**(Jacob: Yes, actually, the dragon that preyed upon Jordan was indeed Argorok, which is copyrighted by Nintendo. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to prevent my friend from being EATEN.)**_

Looking for something to improvise with, Jacob saw that Jordan had dropped the sword. He immediately picked it up and began running in the rapidly-rising dragon's direction for a minute before literally stumbling upon a small, person-sized dragon. He looked at it, then at Jordan's captor, then grinned.

--In the sky of ??--

"Soooooooooo…" Jordan was bored out of his mind, despite being in the clutches of a large dragon whose teeth could grind him dead in seconds, so he decided to strike up a 'conversation' with him. "…You live around here?"

The dragon responded with little more than, "RRRRRRRAAAAAAAWKKK!!"

"Interesting… got any family around here?"

"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWKKK!!"

'Alright, alright! Settle down! How was I supposed to know you were going through a rough marriage?!"

"…or…an!…"

"Eh?" Jordan turned his head to where that faint shout had come from, to see Jacob off in the distance riding on the back of a smaller dragon, the sword in his hand.

Of course, this made Jordan think that Jacob was either incredibly brave... or completely insane.

"Where did you come from?!"

"I'm here to save you, ninny!"

Normally, Jordan would have thought that Jacob was crazy to even go after him (and on a small dragon, for that matter), but he knew that now was not the best time to argue. He then promptly started to try and pull off the gigantic talons holding him.

No such luck.

As Jordan looked up, completely irritated, he saw that Jacob was attempting to use the sword as leverage to get the talon off. Again, nothing.

"Give me that!" Jordan yelled, and with that, he tore the sword out of Jacob's grip and slashed at the talon. Regardless of how impossible it may have been at that moment, the talon actually disintegrated.

"Uh, Jordan, did you mean to do--"

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWK!!" Apparently, the dragon had feeling in his talons, and when he felt one of them no more, he got increasingly upset.

Well, to put it simply, if it were human, it's scream would be somewhat like this:

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

And, of course, when the talon blew up, there was nothing holding Jordan in place, so, _his_ mood was like this:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

This was followed by Jordan falling… and landing on the smaller dragon as Jacob flew it under him.

"You know, you shouldn't really scream in people's ears, Jordan."

_**(Jordan: One would think that you wouldn't be able to keep a cool head in this situation, but this is fiction, so don't be surprised. Besides, if Jacob was panicking, it would get very annoying, very fast.)**_

Normally, Jordan would've said something at this point, but all he wanted was to get them all out of here alive.

As their dragon rose up above the Argorok, the giant thing suddenly spewed a gigantic ball of flame and brimstone at them. The smaller dragon's way of avoiding this was to do a barrel roll in midair. Of course, this is a bad idea if there are passengers on your back.

To be as simple and bland as possible, Jordan fell off.

"AGGGHHH--Ooof!"

As luck would have it, Jordan had actually landed on the Argorok's back.

As he clung on, he looked up to see a large jewel-like object flashing in front of him.

And he was still holding the sword.

Nothing really registered in his mind at that moment. All he did was lift up the sword, without thinking, and swung down as hard as he possibly could, driving the blade into the dragon's back.

The Argorok let out an earsplitting scream. It immediately started thrashing around in the air, fire constantly spewing out of its mouth. In its death throes, Jordan was promptly thrown off, and ironically enough, he landed on the smaller dragon again.

"Nice moves, Ryu." Jacob said sarcastically, as he had witnessed Jordan's 'duel' with the dragon.

"Just ride this thing out of here!"

"Alright, let's see here…" Jacob scoured the landscape for a safe landing point. "What about over there? That lake in the woods." Sure enough, there was a lake in the dense wooded area where they had stopped at earlier, with a trail leading away from the lake and, as far as Jacob could tell, out of the woods. "You think that's a good spot?"

"We can see if we leave _before that dragon blows--_!!"

--Up. Said defeated beastie went kablooie, but only in a large cloud of ash, no shockwave, or anything.

As they flew off, both boys agreed that it was rather anticlimactic. Azilla blinked.

* * *

Jordan: It _was_ anticlimactic, wasn't it?

Jacob: It was, but it was a very lengthy chapter, though. I wonder how they'll get out of this mess?

Jordan: I am not letting ANYONE know right now. Anything else you would like to get off your chest, Jacob?

Jacob: Two things: One, disclaimers, and Two, the deadline/conditions for Chapter 3.

Jordan: Right. First:

Argorok is copyrighted by Nintendo, and just for the record, the sword looks rather like the first sword weapon received in Final Fantasy 10, which is copyrighted by Square Enix. Also, music is property of their respective parties. Two:

We shall post the next chapter if:

A. The Second Coming happens in the next week, or

B. Just a week has passed.

Jacob:Also, we've found it _horribly_ pretentious to do god-awful demands for updates, so we'll say rather wacky things instead for comic relief.

Jordan:And now, it is time for us to retire.

Jacob: We're 16, we can't retire yet!

Jordan: …Never mind…

Jacob: Oh, and to the fans, just because this chapter's title is 'Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow', this ISN'T the last chapter. Far from it actually, you see--

Jordan: Don't spoil it!!

Jacob: _You__'re_ the spoilsport here… _(grumbles)_


	4. The Happening Harbor

Jacob: yawn hey guys, sorry, I just got up. Jordan's doing something in Cairo, Egypt, so I'll have to do the intro for this chapter myself. Cut and paste all previous disclaimers here… with an added bonus this round: More original characters are introduced in this chapter, which are copyrighted to me and Mr. I'm-Busy-In-Cairo.

_

* * *

___

Chapter 3

_The Happening Harbor_

* * *

After landing near the lake in the woods, Jacob scooped up the water and drank some to test if it was safe. Jordan then conducted a simple test to see if it was indeed safe to drink or not.

"Are you dead yet, Jacob?"

"No!" Came the test-drinker's response.

"Well, that's all the proof I need. Let's give some to our little savior here." Jordan looked over at the small dragon that had helped them in the earlier 'fight'. After everybody had had their fill, Jacob scooped some up and splashed some in his own face.

"Ahh… that feels so refreshing!"

"Yeah… you know, once you think about it, this place isn't _all_ bad." Jordan didn't reconsider going back in the direction they came from, surprisingly.

"But you know what _is_ bad?"

"What?"

"What're we going to eat?"

"Well, we can't have roasted dragon, now can we?" Jordan said sarcasticaly.

"Yes, especially since our 'little savior's' _getting away_!!" Sure enough, their little dragon that could was already soaring too high from reach. "Well, the _only_ good thing I can find in this situation is this: if you love something, set it free."

Jordan just ignored the incredibly corny sentence.

* * *

One thing you should know about hiking is that it is harder than it looks. After two hours of solid, nonstop walking, the two of them had reached the path they had seen from the air (It was much farther away than they realized).

"So, Jacob, which direction would you like to go, left or right?"

"I know just how to settle this--"

"Rock Paper Scissors!" The two teens yelled as they threw down their choices. Jacob had rock, Jordan had paper.

"Ha! I win!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jacob mumbled, "now which way are we going?"

"…er…"

"Why how-- I say, howdy, y'all!" A stagecoach had rolled up next to them as they were trying to decide which direction, and driving it was…what looked like the Vlasic pickle mascot…with a voice like Foghorn Leghorn…

"GOOD LORD!" Jacob took several steps back and fell over in shock, while Jordan seemed completely unaffected.

"Er, hello, sir."

"Where y'all head-- I say, headed today?"

"Um, well, we're actually lost. Would you mind if we came with you to the next town?"

"Well alrighty, but I've got a lo-- I say, a lot of packages in there, so try not to brea-- I say, break the mer-chan-dise."

"Er, sure, okay."

Jordan then dragged Jacob onto the stagecoach, being careful not to knock anything over.

"Talking…stork…"

"So?"

"So?_ So?_ Jordan, back home, have you ever seen a walking, talking STORK?!"

"Sure I have."

"Wait, _seriously_?!"

"Yes. What do you think the guy driving the coach is?"

"Fine, smarty pants, tell me _where_ at home you've seen a talking stork before?"

"Well, I don't really know where we are, but we did meet a stork here, haven't we?"

"_Other than HERE_!!"

"For all you know, this probably IS our wor-- Jacob? Are you okay?" Jacob was busy knocking his head against the wall of the stagecoach… until he noticed the packages inside. He tried to pry one open using only his hands.

"Jacob! The guy said not to touch them!"

"Jordan, he only said not to _break _them, nothing's wrong with _looking_."

"I… suppose." Jordan agreed apprehensively. He helped Jacob lift open the lid on a crate saying, "Physical Embodiment of Hippiness" They looked inside, only to have their vision blurred by various psychedelic blends of colors.

"Gah! Not again!" Jacob yelled at the color pallet that was currently assaulting his vision. Jordan was experiencing something similar. After the totally whacky experience in color blends, they felt the stage coach slow, then stop.

"We're he--I say, here, kids!" They heard the coach driver yell.

_(The Ricco Harbor Theme from Super Mario Sunshine plays in the background)_

Their eyes met the sight of a festive-looking port town. There were cool clothes, weird looking food, and even weird looking _people_. Fat, multicolored, palm-tree-on-their-head-people.

"Well, _this _isn't exactly what I thought a port would be like." Jacob said aloud. Meanwhile, Jordan was thanking the stagecoach driver for giving them a lift, then he rode off, while Jordan rejoined Jacob, while Azilla did an amazing feat and jumped onto Jordan's shoulder in one bound.

"Well, let's see what we've got-- oh my."

"Yeah, unusual, huh?"

"Well… it's not _exactly_ what I had expected…" Jordan was interrupted by the sound of both boy's stomach's growling. They both knew what subject had to be addressed: food.

"Let's hit the nearest tavern to find some grub, eh, Jordan?"

"Does it _have_ to be a tavern? I mean, can it just be a nice peaceful café?"

"Sure." The two boys and one cat walked over to the nearest restaurant-looking complex, which looked like an normal, circle-shaped café. They sat on the patio, near the only other patron to the place (a person reading the newspaper which concealed all but the baseball cap on his head) as they determined what story they would tell to any passers-by that asked any personal questions.

"Okay," Jacob started the train of thought, "We'll say we're nomads, moving where the winds take us, and we've never been to this town before, which will be our excuse for all the questions we ask."

"Okay, that sounds like something Hilary would pull out of a hat, but I'll go with it," Jordan added. "But what about our little issue about currency?"

"Uhh…" He had to admit, that _had_ slipped Jacob's mind. "Hmm… we'll say we haven't been to the Customs Department of Currency Exchange, or whatever, yet, and we therefore don't have the right currency for here, but we will gladly pay them in time."

"Sounds like a bad excuse, but I'll go with that too!" Jordan celebrated the decision with a high-five. Azilla meowed, seemingly in approval. At about that time, someone else walked into the near-empty café. One was slightly taller than the other, the shorter of which has some weird iron staff. They sat near in the corner opposite the two boys. The waitress woke up, noticing that she actually had customers, and decided to take the two teen's orders.

"Hi, there! May I take you guy's orders?" She said cheerfully.

"Hello to you too ma'am," Jordan greeted her. "You see, we _just _came into town, and we're unaware as to what you serve here at this _fabulous_-looking establishment." Jordan tried his best to nudge the native delicacies in the port town out of the waitress.

Unlike the waitress, Jacob wasn't convinced one bit. "Laying it on thick, huh?" he muttered to his friend. Jordan ignored him.

"Sure! We have hankbi tea and shishy lemonade for drinks, just to name a few."

It was at this point that the two boys realized this wasn't a restaurant like the ones back home. The two boys looked at each other in both dismay and disgust, while Azilla just looked alternately at both of them.

"Umm…" Jordan tried to stall, but thankfully, Jacob saved him.

"We'll have water, please, and a saucer of milk for her." He gestured with his thumb toward Azilla, who looked like she was trying to paw at something on Jordan's head, yet couldn't quite reach it.

"Alright, the drinks will be out momentarily." The waitress said as she turned to take the other's orders.

"You owe me one."

"What makes you say that?!"

"I saved you from making an awkward statement that _could_ have landed us in the Crazy House TM."

"Right, well, putting that aside for a moment, what do you think her reaction's going to be when she sees that we have no appropriate money?"

"Like this." Jacob then proceeded to go cross-eyed and wide-eyed simultaneously, while gasping for air like a fish out of water.

"Stop doing that. I would like to know what will happen if we can't pay for it. And I don't care what excuse we give her, she probably, and I say _probably_, won't believe anything we say."

"Which is why we'll end up in the Crazy House TM if we tell her our story."

"Then let me pay your bill." The customer with the newspaper finally spoke. He had been watching the two as soon as they had sit down. He had a jean jacket with a yellow undershirt, orange-red fur, red khakis, and his appearance in general looked like that of a Mobian fox, except he had no visible tail.

_**(Jordan: Okay, let me address this directly. When we say "Mobian", we mean something like a character from the "Sonic the Hedgehog" series. **_

_**Jacob: If you know what Miles 'Tails' Prower looks like, then you should get what we mean.)**_

"Huh? Oh, you don't need to--WAGH!" Jordan had turned to look at him, and he had fallen out of his chair in shock. Jacob, however, was not perturbed this time.

"What's with you?" Jacob asked his fallen friend.

"Oh, um…er, nothing, nothing…" Jordan said as he got up. Azilla merely stared at him, looking amused.

The fox, er, boy, em, fox-boy--ah, whatever. Anyway, he looked at Jordan in concern, then turned to Jacob. "Anyway, if you don't have any money, I'll pay for you."

"Look, you don't have to do that." Jacob told the other customer. Said fellow shook his head.

"Look, I want to pay for you, and besides, it doesn't look like you have any money anyway."

"Okay," Jacob admitted, "I have to put my hands up at that one."

"Forgive me for saying so," Jordan said, "but are you sure you want to pay for us?"

"Do I look like I don't?"

"Probably, but--"

The waitress came back. "Here's your drinks, and some milk for the young lady there." She placed a milk-filled saucer in front of Azilla, who meowed. "Why, thank you, ma'am!" the waitress said cheerfully. She turned to the two boys.

"What would you like to eat?"

Jordan stared at his menu. "Errrmmm….." He looked up at the waitress, when the other patron saved him.

"He and his friend will have Hapshii hamburgers, the young miss will have a Small Salmon Supreme, and I'll have a Yopno salad."

Both Jordan and Jacob stared at him with looks of utter incomprehension on their faces. The waitress, however, obviously understood, for she went back to the counter to prepare their food. Jordan looked at the fox-boy.

"Okay, what exactly did you just order? I didn't understand a word you just told her."

The fox-boy merely raised his brow. "I guess you two aren't from here, huh?"

"Nope." Jacob said blandly. "Would you mind telling us what you ordered for us?"

"Sure. A Hapshii hamburger is a patty made with spaghetti-flavored cabbage with a single tomato slice, all on a Goomnut bun." Again, the two boys looked at each other in both disgust, dismay, and confusion. The young patron took this as not knowing what he said. "I take it you don't know what _those_ are?"

"Obviously," was Jordan's answer.

'I see. Well, a Goomnut--"

"We don't need to know what that is," Jacob interrupted, "so can we please change the subject?"

The fox-boy raised his eyebrows, then remembered something. "Oh, how rude, I never gave my name! I'm Raisho. And you are?"

"Oh, I'm Ja--mpphh!" Jordan had covered Jacob's mouth and, for reasons best unknown, gave Raisho their new aliases.

"I'm Jaron Roxai, and this is my associate, Jason Concord." Raisho looked at 'Jason' in confusion, and Jordan could've _sworn_ he heard Jacob say "Concord?" muffled.

"Oh, and before I forget, this is our friend, Azilla."

Said cat merely looked at Raisho and meowed. He nodded in her direction, then looked at "Jaron". "So, what brings you three to a place like this?"

"Oh, we go where the winds take us." 'Jason' explained.

"We're nomads," Jordan added.

Before Raisho could speak, the waitress came back with their orders and placed them in front of them. "There you go."

"Thanks," Jacob said. Jordan poked at his food.

"So," Raisho said, "are you three going anywhere?"

"Well, we haven't decided yet, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Oh, Lord, this is revolting," Jordan added as he tasted his hamburger. The waitress heard; she shot him a very filthy look as she walked to take the other customer's orders. The taller of the cloaked men waved her off when she reached their table. She stared at them, looking offended.

"Let's get going, I don't want to eat any more of this," Jordan said.

"Okay, if you really don't like it, I guess we can save it for later. Let me get some change." Raisho reached into his bag.

The two men mirrored his movements. Almost without thinking, Jordan grabbed both Jacob and Raisho and dragged them under the table.

"_Expulso!!"_

_(Raikiri Thunder Break from the Naruto series plays in the background)_

Their table literally exploded. Pieces of woods flew through the air, as the waitress screamed and ran for the door; a jet of red light from one of the men hit her and she fell to the ground, unable to move.

On the ground, Jordan rolled his eyes. "We're here for only five minutes, and the whole world has already turned on us." He looked at the other two. "Any ideas?"

"Uh…" Jacob muttered, his mind working quickly. "Jordan, get the waitress to safety. Raisho, can you do something to distract them so all of us can escape?"

"You don't even need to ask."

Without further ado, Raisho leaped up and pointed at their attackers.

"_Bombarda!!"_

The bottle on the man's table exploded, sending shards of glass everywhere (though thankfully nobody was hit). Raisho tsked. "Missed…urp!"

The man with the staff had pointed it at Raisho, somehow causing him to be lifted into the air. Said man took off his hood; the only way for me to describe him is to say that he was an ugly git. He grinned, revealing very bad teeth. "Okay, half-breed," he said, his voice sounding as if he had just smelled something that had recently died, "give me the--"

BWOOOOOIIIIIIIIIING!!

The man had not taken account of the fact that Jacob had snuck behind him with a wok ready.

_**(Jacob: On that note, what DOES an ugly git look like?**_

_**Jordan: Like an ugly git. What do you think it would look like?**_

_**Jacob: Okay then… what're an ugly git's clothes like?**_

_**Jordan: The sort of clothes an ugly git would usually wear, what else?**_

_**Jacob: You ALWAYS do this!… Lousy…)**_

As soon as the wok made contact with the man's head, he fell to the ground, unconscious. Jordan flashed Jacob a thumb's up.

"_PK Fire!!" _

Of course, none of them had taken account of the other man, who fired a tiny lightning bolt at Jordan, who jumped aside. The bolt exploded in midair, causing a vertical pillar of fire to burst into existence. Jordan turned to the man after contemplating this phenomenon, looking rather calm.

"So," he said, keeping his voice steady, "any reason why you're trying to kill us?"

The git's only response was to point at Jordan. At once, he found himself lifted into the air and thrown out onto the street. And believe me, it really hurt.

However, said git, like his partner, was too busy concentrating with Jordan to realize Raisho and Jacob had double-body-slammed him, knocking him to the ground. They gave each other a high-five.

As Jordan got up, he glanced at the two of them. "Nice job, guys."

Jacob scratched his head bashfully. "Ah, it was nothi--"

Before he could finish, both he and Raisho were lifted into the air; the git had gotten back up, an evil grin on his face. After giving Jordan a contemptuous glance, he turned to the two, an orb of green forming in his hand. "Did you really think that mere children could defeat me?" he asked.

Jordan, not wanting his friend to die at the hands of an ugly man, took a step forward and stepped on something. Looking down, he saw that it was his sword. It must've fallen out of his bag back.

The man's grin widened as the orb in his hand grew larger. "Now, you will d--"

He never had time to complete his sentence, for he turned around in time to see a scarlet blur crash down on him.

At that moment, both Jacob and Raisho fell to ground. As he got up, Jacob saw Jordan slashing at their enemy, wearing a look of…not rage, certainly…but something more like determination…and he realized something else.

Jordan's eyes were not their normal green; instead, they had turned to a cobalt blue. The man screamed as the broad side of Jordan's blade slammed into his face, practically blasting him backwards several feet and knocking him unconscious.

Jacob turned to the man, then to Jordan, who was panting. His eyes had turned to their original color.

"Sooooooo…working with some anger issues, are we?" Jacob said. Jordan merely glared at him. Jacob decided to take the opportunity and shut himself up.

--Later--

After both of the attackers had been carted off, Jordan and Jacob had said their goodbyes to Raisho and had gone to wandering aimlessly around down (Azilla had been hiding behind the counter in the cafe), debating on what they should do, when Jacob spied a nearby yacht.

This, of course, began a long argument between the two of them involving whether or not they should get on, and for reasons that you cannot fathom, I will not give details about such. Okay, I'm just lazy, but so what.

"I'm telling you," Jacob told Jordan with a hoarse whisper, "It might lead us to information about this place."

"And _I'm_ telling _you_," Jordan said, looking as if he would blow up at any moment, "We don't have any money to go on that boat. And I highly doubt that you want to hide in the cargo hold."

"Do _you_?"

"Depends on how bad the conditions are."

"Do you guys need help with something?"

It was Raisho. Evidently he had been listening at the ticket counter next to the boat.

"Oh, hello, Raisho," Jordan said. "We were debating on whether we should get on the boat. But as we don't have any money--"

"If you want to get on the boat, I can pay for you."

_**(Jordan: Okay, allow me to address something here. For reasons best left unknown, I have a really hard time accepting things from other people. Just thought I'd clear that up. Getting back on track…)**_

"Wha--no, you don't have to--"

"But I want to, guys. Come on, it doesn't look like you three are doing anything important here anyway. So…?"

"Well, I can't express enough thanks for this, Raisho," Jacob said graciously.

Jordan still looked troubled. "Are you sure about this?"

"I told you already," Raisho said, "yes, it's fine with me." A thoughtful look crossed his face. "Actually, would you guys like to join me? If you guys aren't doing anything at the moment, I would like some companions."

"We'd love to accompany you." The two teens said simultaneously. Jacob stared at Jordan for a moment. First he tries to talk Raisho out of helping them, then agrees to join him? What a total hypocrisy he has going on…

* * *

Jordan: (Looks bad tempered)

Jacob: Oh! Hey! You're back from Cairo! How was it?

Jordan: Due to a computer error, a moronic flight captain, and a bowl of limes, I ended up in Switzerland instead.

Jacob: How'd you get back?

Jordan: As luck would have it, I manage to hitch a ride with Ness.

Jacob: What the _heck_ was Ness, from Earthbound/Mother 2, doing in Switzerland?!

Jordan: According to him, he and an author from this site were going there to work on a fic in private.

Jacob: In private? Did you interrupt them?

Jordan: I thought about it, but as there was a rabid fan girl with them, I decided against it. ANYway, shouldn't we get some points cleared up?

Jacob: Yeah. Copy and paste the author's notes from the beginning of this chapter to here. Raisho and the ugly gits are copyright of us, due to the fact that they are original characters. Same goes for the scenario. Jordan, would you care to do the fanfic update conditions/ demands?

Jordan: This time, we will only update when we receive 40,000 sporks. Or after a week has passed. Are we clear on that? Good. So, until next time, keep each other safe, and keep faith. Good night, ladies and gentlemen.


	5. All aboard the S S Melody

Jordan: (Writing future chapter) Hmmm, how do I make the situation seem worse? Maybe I should include-- Huh? Oh, we're on? Okay, cut the camera! Cut! Cut, darn it!!

Jaron: Actually, let's angle it in a bit, it does show that--

Jordan: (Holding the lord of all lasers) YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO GET THAT CAMERA AWAY FROM ME LEST I BLAST YOU HALFWAY ACROSS THE--

KABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!

--Sorry for the technical difficulties. Please stand by…--

_(Everything's becomes focused)_

Jordan: Sorry about that. Anyway, we will be showing what happens on the S. S. Melody, the boat that Jordan, Jacob, Raisho, and Azilla boarded in next chapter.

Jacob: Will there be _good_ food?

Jordan: Jacob, look at me and think about what you just asked for a second.

Jacob: Aw man!

Jordan: Anyway, we will also see something concerning me in this chapter, which is…well, I'm not telling yet.

Jacob: Bad dreams? Indigestion? Seasickness? Cramps? _Melting?_

Jordan: Okay, ignoring him, maybe we should get started. I hope you enjoy!

Jacob: Oh, and concerning Jaron, will he be waking up anytime soon?

Jordan: No idea. Oh, and check the post-chapter author's notes to get a PSA concerning a belligerent drunk in this chapter.

Jaron: Music belongs to respective parties. Original characters are property of Jacob and Jordan. Copy and Paste all othe previous disclaimers here, as well.

Kaitlin: Thanks, Jaron. Now, let's begin, shall we?

* * *

Chapter 4

All Aboard the S. S. Melody

_(The Wii Shop Channel Menu music starts playing)_

The group of three plus Raisho, their newest member, were on the ship, now known as the S. S. Melody. They had gotten a room near the railing, so they got a phenomenal view. Also, the teens had _not_ revealed _where _they were from, but they had given up on the whole alias thing. When Raisho questioned why, Jacob countered that if they told anyone, they thought they would get sent to the Crazy House TM, but thankfully, there were people like Raisho, which prompted the alias dropping. The fact that Raisho was thought trusting by the two boys made him a bit embarrassed, causing a bit of a laugh between all of them, and Azilla just swiped at her own ear.

"Well, I'll hit the shower, then the sheets." Raisho announced as he stretched and walked into the bathroom.

"Make sure you leave some hot water for the rest of us!" Jordan groggily yelled from the other room. He had a point; it had been a couple of days since either he or Jacob had bathed, and they were starting to accumulate a mild B.O.

_**(Jordan: The readers don't need to know that kind of stuff!**_

_**Jacob: No offense, but you have been skipping your visits to the sho--**_

_**Hilary: Barges in Hey gu-- WOOOOAAAAH!! What is that STANK?!**_

_**Jacob:…I will say… nothing… at all…**_

_**Jordan:…)**_

While Raisho was in the shower, Jacob preoccupied himself with the sunset, while Jordan laid onto the bed… and immediately caught 'Z's. Jacob noticed this, and thought to himself, '_It's official, I'm forcing his lone self into the shower FIRST THING before breakfast.' _Jacob's thought were interrupted by the sound of the shower turning off.

"Alright! I'm done showering! Just let me get dressed real quick." Jacob heard Raisho yell from the bathroom. That reminded Jacob of another inconvenience: a change of clothes. They weren't just going to wear the same clothes _every day_, are they?

Raisho finally emerged from the bathroom. He looked like he had on a crisp, new version of his other clothes, albeit wet from lack of drying off, and his fur was matted down from the shower.

"Wow, that was fast."

"Unlike most people, I do a short jump and put my pants on _with both legs_ at the same time!"

_**(Jordan: Why would anyone need to do that?**_

_**Jacob: Why WOULDN'T anyone need to do that?**_

_**Jordan: Well--oh, never mind.)**_

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's a gift, like my tricks in the art of thievery." This stopped Jacob's thought process dead. Raisho… a _criminal_?! Jordan stirred, and opened his eye.

"Somebody say thievery?" he asked groggily.

"Yes, Jordan, Raisho IS one!"

"Is one what?"

Raisho looked from Jordan to Jacob. "What's wrong?"

"Well… we're just not advocates of crime, that all."

"Meaning?" Raisho asked.

"He thinks you're rotten to the core," Jordan said. Jacob shot him mental daggers with his eyes… which didn't work.

"I only do it so I have enough money to get by, that's all… besides, those tyrants had enough surplus to last them an entire economic depression!"

"Wha--oh, so you're like Robin Hood?" Jacob understood.

"Robin Who?"

"Never mind."

"If you're done with your discussion," Jordan muttered, "I need to sleep." And with that he started to snore. Azilla merely gave him an amused look, then curled up on top of him and started to sleep.

* * *

--About 26 seconds later--

The dinner bell rang, waking up Jordan and getting him seriously annoyed/ cranky. And as Jacob knew too well, a cranky Jordan is a _very bad _Jordan. Okay, he's not that bad, but he doesn't like getting up while sleeping.

"Where wi' goin'?" he asked groggily as Jacob and Azilla half-dragged, half-carried him down the hallway.

"Dinner, Sleeping Beauty." Raisho responded as he was walking next to them.

"What kind of food is in there?"

"Judging from your reaction to the two-star grub at the café, this stuff's _fabulous_." Jacob then looked apprehensively at Jordan.

* * *

--In the Dining Hall--

_(Kakashi's Theme from the Naruto series starts playing)_

"What… _is _this?!" Jacob was staring at what (or _who_) was on his plate. Okay, I'll just ignore the who.

Jordan just poked at what looked like a patty of yellow spaghetti, topped with (what appeared to be) green bell peppers, with topsoil for a bun… grass included. "Is this a meal, or a piece of agriculture?" he asked.

"_That's _what I call a vegiburger." Jacob muttered to Jordan, who lightly laughed.

"Well, at least Azilla gets something good," he whispered, indicating said feline, who was enjoying a bowl of salmon. Okay, it was blue, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Oh, to be _her_ right now." Jacob said, envious of the feline's position.

Raisho, looking up from his bowl of soup, noticed their looks of slight disgust and confusion. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Yeah, er, Jacob and I aren't--_used _to this sort of food," Jordan explained.

"Oh, you're not?" Raisho asked. "Oh, I'm sorry, I should've--"

Jordan interrupted him. "It's not your fault," he said quickly, "but if anything, it's probably the cook's fault." Said cook shot him a very ugly look. Jordan, however, just ignored him. After a moment, his face brightened. "Oh, right…" He reached behind his chair and picked up his knapsack. "I forgot that I had some sandwiches in here."

Jacob stared at him for a full ten seconds, completely speechless, then stammered, "I think I may hug you."

"_Please_, for the love of Heaven, _don't_." He handed Jacob a sandwich. Said teenager scarfed it down like it was his last meal.

"It's delicious! What sandwich is it, Jordan?"

"PB and J."

"Oh. Wait, how long has this been in your pack?"

"Probably a week."

"_Why _didn't you take them out _sooner_?!"

And then came the argument…

* * *

--On the deck--

After about ten minutes of bickering, Jordan and Jacob decided to agree to disagree, and they went up to the deck.

The sunset was glorious, as was the sparkling sea; it was a truly beautiful evening. All of this beauty was lost on Jordan, however.

"You seasick Jordan? You have this look on your face…"

Jordan shook his head. "No, it's nothing…it's just that…well…"

"Well, what?" Raisho asked.

"Nothing, nothing…"

Silence fell between them. The only sounds there were was the sound of the waves slapping against the helm of the ship.

_(The song 'Fooling Mode' from Naruto starts playing)_

After a few minutes, however, Jordan heard the sounds of what sounded like a drunkard either yelling or belching on someone. Turning around, he saw a _very_ heavyset man leaning-turning a young girl, a bottle of what looked like hard cider--of all things--in his hand.

"He-e-e-e-y, pretty giiiiiirlee," he slurred, obviously tanked/ slammed/ buzzed/ tipsy, "wanvna come wiff me inmi matessssssss downstaaaaiarirrrsss? Weveaeeajgh gat sa pleanie oooo rooooooooomomomomom downsteeeerresssssss!!"

_**(Jacob: Yes, I DID have to look up that many words for 'drunk'.)**_

The girl he was accosting looked rather unnerved. "Er, no thanks," she stammered, "but I have to go to bed--"

"Ahhh, thanxt niiioo problaaaaam," he croaked, once again proving that he was a very bad speller, "weva giut siiiiim niiiieeewww beeeedss downstreassss! Cimiion…"

The girl to a step backward. "No, I--"

"Excuse me."

Both the girl and the drunkard turned to see Jordan standing there. "Forgive me for interrupting," he said calmly, "but I would very much appreciate it if you would stop bothering this girl."

The drunkard staggered in front of Jordan and stared at him with a rather crossed-eyed look. "Blah, no twowrn fir nothank brat aint ganna till ME what at duh-du-do!!" He then held up the bottle of ale over his head.

Jordan sighed. "Typical…" he muttered. Rather than moving aside, however, he stood perfectly still, knowing what would probably happen.

And it most certainly did happen. As the man swung down the bottle at him, Raisho jumped forward and kicked at it, shattering it. The pieces hadn't even hit the floor before Raisho flipped the drunkard onto his back, while he and Jacob proceeded to upheave said buzzed patron and literally throw him overboard.

Jordan gave Raisho a thumbs-up. "Thanks for that!"

"Always a pleasure to help those in need." Jacob responded.

"_COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNYYYYYYYYYYYY_!!" was Raisho's response. Jacob's death-glare told him to not say it again, and Raisho got the message.

After giving them both a look of combined amusement, disgust, exasperation, and _heavy_ irony (don't ask), Jordan turned to the young girl. "You okay?"

The girl in question looked around fourteen to fifteen years old, with shoulder-length white hair and hazel eyes. She was quite pretty. "Oh, yeah, I'm all right," was her response.

"Well, that's good," Jordan said. 'What's your--"

"Emily?"

A tall man walked over to them, with blue hair and eyes like a hawk (okay, I know that sounds somehow clichéd, but so what). "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Dad, these three help ward off a drunkard that was harassing me earlier."

"Really? Where's your assailant?"

"Over there. It's the guy the staff is having a _bit_of trouble getting back onboard." Jacob had spoken, and gestured over to aforementioned sot, who was trying to climb up the side of the boat, while the staff was holding as rope holders, until the buzzed harasser slipped and fell, taking the staff holding the rope with him.

The man watched this looking amused, then turned to Jordan, Jacob, and Raisho. "You are the ones who helped my daughter?" They all nodded. "I see. Thank you very much, then."

"Ah, it wasn't a problem," Jordan said, "and besides, she was being harassed, and nobody likes that, so we couldn't just stand there and do nothing, right?"

The man gave him an appraising look, then said, "Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Spiro Maximillian," here he gestured to the young girl, "and this is my daughter, Emily."

"Nice to meet you!" Emily said cheerfully.

Jordan nodded. "Howdy. By the way, our names are--"

DINGALINGALINGALINNNNNNnG!!

"Looks like it's time for bed," Spiro commented.

"Yeah, well, before we leave, I'm Jacob, this is Jordan, and that's Raisho," Jacob said quickly. "Well, it was nice meeting you, so you'll have to excuse us!"

And they left in a breathless blaze of glory.

* * *

--Near the cabin--

The instant they entered the cabin, Jordan stood right in front his bed, then fell over and started to snore. After that, Jacob peered out the window to view the moonlit ocean, until he heard a tempo-ed commotion outside, he opened the window and rubbernecked to the right to see and old man wearing an astronaut's costume (sans the helmet) dancing to 'Funkytown'.

Some people stared at him. Others actually stopped dead, their mouths gaping. Not that he cared. Tonight was special. Tonight was different.

In the days to come, he would shake the world down to its roots…

For he was Olaf, Master of the Dance.

"OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA, BABY! I am SLAAAAAAAAAVE to the RHYTHM, and I LIKES IT SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!"

* * *

--In The Cabin--

Raisho and Jacob looked out the window after the dance session had passed by.

"Is it over?" Raisho asked Jacob.

"Not 'till the fish jumps." He replied. Said fish leaped spectacularly… granted its jump height was only a mere two feet.

Jordan mumbled, "It's over."

* * *

Jaron: (Rubbing his head and looking annoyed)

Jacob: Ahh… a tribute to one of the greatest ending one-liners in history.

Jordan: Right, well…anyway, I would like to point out that the Olaf thing (copyrighted by Lemony Snicket) wasn't our idea. Actually, Olaf came to us and _demanded_ that he take part in the story, so…

Jacob: There you go. Also, the scenario and original characters are owned by us, so _**no stealing!**_

Jordan: If you wish to ask for permission to use them, however, just ask me.

Jaron: You're just trying to get some publicity.

Jacob: What a senseless plug…

Jordan: Hey, hey--

Jaron: Actually, I happen to kn--

Jordan: (Taping Jaron's mouth shut) Okay, that's enough from you.

Jacob: Now onto Fanfic update 'conditions'.

Either

A) We get 50 portable pudding cups, assorted party favors, etc., or

B) 1 and or 1 and ½ weeks have passed.

Jordan: Now, if you don't mind, we need to go to bed. G'night.

Jaron: (Tries to remove tape and fails)

Jacob: (Yawns and stretches) Peace, have a great sleep... and believe it or not, it's harder than you think to come up with dialogue for a drunkard.

Jordan: Also, we **in NO way **condone the consumtion of alcohol under the state's drinking age. And if, for some reason, you **do** drink, don't drive as well. Have someone drive for you.

Kaitlin: And remember kids: just say _**no!**_

Jaron: Well, Kaitlin, _that _one's for drugs, but I'm sure the viewers see the point.

Raisho: Now you know...

Everyone: 'CAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS **POWER!!**

Jacob: Goodnight everybody!


	6. Unexpected Tragedy

Jaron: (Wearing Tragedy mask)

Jordan: Why are you wearing that?

Jaron: Nobody said I couldn't.

Jordan: Good point. By the way, have you seen Ja--

Jacob: (Rushes in haphazardly, slams door behind him, gasping) Help me bolt the door… NOW!

Jaron: (Alarmed) What's wrong?

Jacob: _Hilary__'__s_ after me!!

Jordan: Lemme guess, you somehow managed to tick her off?

Jacob: I just borrowed some money from her, and I've paid all but a nickel back to he--

Hilary: (Banging on door) Open up this door, you , or else I'll take this Gavel of Morality and use it to break open your heads!! (Door blasts open, revealing Hilary, looking quite irate)

Jordan: Oi…anyway, I need to make sure that Jacob isn't murdered to death, so Jaron will start the chapter.

Jacob: NO! HAVE MERCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Jaron: Ugh…well I hope you enjoy this chapter. Again, copy and paste all previous disclaimers here.

* * *

Chapter 5

Unexpected Tragedy 

_Lu__…__lu__…__ca__…__.._

"Hey, wake up."

Jordan stirred, then rolled over and fell out of bed.

"Jordan! You okay?" Jordan opened his eyes to see a worried-looking Jacob and Raisho looking down at him.

"Hey, guys, what's up?"

"We are. You're on the floor, Jordan."

"Really?" Jordan checked. "So I am. Interesting."

As he got up, Jacob said, "You were mumbling something in your sleep."

"Really? What was I saying?"

"'Lucas'. You kept saying 'Lucas'."'

Raisho, checking something in his bag, said, "Probably due to indigestion from last night."

"Yeah, the food _was_ terrible." Jacob added.

Raisho, not really paying attention because he was looking through his bag, said, "By the way, we'll be docking soon, so you might want to pack."

As Jacob checked his things, he asked, "By the way, where's the ship headed?"

"My village."

"Cool! Are the people there nice?"

"That's like asking, 'Is the sky blue?'"

Jordan, checking his knapsack, muttered, "I'll take that as a yes."

"Well, anyway," Raisho continued, "Once we get there, I'm sure that we can get some stuff from my house, then we can get to the next town as quickly as--"

"Hold on," Jordan said. "You sound like we'll be there for only a few minutes. Can't we stay there for a bit?"

At this, Raisho stopped. If you looked closely enough, you can see that he started to sweat. "Erm, w-well, I…uh… Well, my landlord won't like such a large number of guests over…"

Jordan gave him a suspicious glance, but said no more about it.

* * *

--thirty minutes, twelve seconds, and three bouts of random seasickness and scurvy from EVERYONE later--

"Ugh, we're finally here… urp!"

Trying his best to ignore several people behind them blowing their lunches (including Jordan, unfortunately), Jacob carried Jordan and Azilla, while Raisho walked beside them. The gang of four walked to where Raisho indicated was his village.

"So… any food there that Jordan and me _will like_ there?"

"If you've hated the food on the boat, you'll hate this even more." Jacob groaned with annoyance, while Jordan just groaned… then blew chunks. "That... is ominous." Raisho proclaimed.

"What, how we'll react to the food?" Raisho _sorely_ wanted to hit Jacob for that, but Jordan was getting vomit everywhere, so he ignored Jacob's comment and they trudged on.

According to Raisho, the village was named Baim-iboa largely because the majority of the buildings were made of bamboo, and the religion of the majority of the village (there were others, but the main one is the subject here) worshiped some sort of almighty serpent deity.

"What's the deity's name?" Jacob asked.

"Orochi."

"Orochi? Like that snake god from old Japanese myths?"

"Japa-what?"

"Er-- never mind."

As they walked, Jordan, feeling much better, said, "By the way, Raisho, would you mind if I ask a question?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Now, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but…well, you're a fox, right?"

"Obviously," Raisho mumbled.

"So…well, I hope you'll forgive me for asking, but, well, how come you don't have a tail?"

Raisho stopped so suddenly that both boys (and cat) walked on for five full seconds before they realized that he had stopped.. Jordan noted that this reaction was no different to the one on the boat. "Erm, w-well…" You could practically _hear_ Raisho sweating. "I-I…it was accidentally cut off when I was younger…"

Jacob winced. "Ooh…ouch."

Jordan's response was similar, though his eyes were narrowed.

As Raisho walked ahead of them, Jordan muttered to Jacob, "He's lying."

Jacob was, naturally, taken aback. "What makes you say _that_?"

Making sure that Raisho wasn't paying attention, Jordan muttered, "Did you notice his reaction? He was so nervous. I'm _sure_ he was lying."

"_Just_ because someone is uncomfortable about a subject, doesn't mean they're lying. I mean, I've seen _you_ get nervous lots of other subjects before."

"Mppphh….." was Jordan's only reply.

* * *

--three minutes later through the time-space continuum to Brazil--

"That made no sense whatsoever."

"It wasn't suppose to, Jacob."

"Jordan, I think he means it was supposed to."

"This is our argument, Raisho, but your two cents are appreciated."

Anyway, getting back on track, when they had finally reached the border of the village, they immediately noticed that something was wrong. Everyone seemed depressed to some degree, and they were all wearing black.

As soon as they walked through the gate, a small crowd of people surrounded them, and a rather old man hurried toward them.

"Master Raisho! Thank goodness you've arrived!"

"What do you mean? What's wrong?" Raisho's expression immediately became worried.

At the sound of the question, everyone stiffened. Everyone was silent for a moment, then the old man said, "You may want to come with me, Raisho…"

They both left, leaving Jordan to sputter, "What, don't _we _exist?!"

"I concur…" Jacob agreed.

* * *

--Later--

Jacob wasn't the type to follow people, but as Jordan always had an annoying amount of curiosity, so he had to relent.

The church where they had followed Raisho and the old man seemed normal enough, but there was a large number of people there--all of them wearing black.

As they walked inside, Jordan muttered, "What do you think's wrong?"

"I don't know… I think I saw Raisho crying, so something really devastating must've happened." Jacob said as he slowly rubbernecked around the corner…

Only to be knocked aside as Raisho blazed by him at full speed. As he ran past Jordan, time seemed to slow, and he saw that there were tears in his eyes. The minister quickly followed suit, calling out Raisho's name, and not noticing the two boys at all.

"Raisho?" By the time Jordan said that, however, Raisho had left the church.

"What was that about?" Jacob grumbled as he got up, wondering how in 'Bugger's All Coming Out' that they weren't noticed.

* * *

--Later, at Raisho's house--

_Once again _going against his better judgment, Jacob followed Jordan into Raisho's house. "You _know_ I don't like prying into other's affairs, right, Jordan?"

"It isn't really prying, Jacob, it's more like intensive investigating."

"My _fanny_ it isn't!"

"Mrph." was Jordan's response. Both comments were disregarded, and the boys pressed on. Raisho's house was situated on a hill above the village. The inside was nice enough, but Raisho was nowhere to be found. There _was_, however, a photo of a woman holding a baby looking suspiciously like Raisho in her arms, with a smaller child (looking very similar to the lady) standing next to her, staring up at the camera with a calm smile. The photo was situated on a table next to a window.

"Look at this."

Jordan contemplated the photo. "Pretty lady. Maybe it's his babysitter or something."

Jacob's response was to glare at him. "You don't know that! For all you know (there are a _lot_ of strange things going on in this world), that could be his mom."

Jordan gave him an odd look, then looked at the pictograph again. "But she looks nothing like--" He stopped suddenly. He stared at the photo for several seconds, then turned his back on it. "I'm going to look for Raisho. Can you wait here if he comes back?"

Before Jacob could even open his mouth, Jordan had left the house.

He sighed. Once again, his friend had gone off without a proper explanation, and had left him behind, to boot! He was probably just worried about Raisho, but still…

He took a closer look at the photo. The woman carrying Raisho seemed kind enough, but was human, unlike Raisho. As he stared at her, however, he saw that her eyes were the same color as the fox boy's.

As he put down the photo, he noticed another one on the table. This depicted four people grouped together for a group shot. Raisho, looking around four or five, was in it, of course, as was what appeared to be an older version of himself, possibly his father. This person had his arm around the waist of what appeared to be the woman from the other photo. Next to Raisho was also the boy from the other photo, now much older, probably around seven or eight. There seemed to be something orange wrapped around his leg.

Jacob looked closer at this. _Hey__…__that looks like a__…_

* * *

--Meanwhile--

Following Raisho had not been easy for Jordan, as he had no idea where he had gone.

_**(Jacob: That might as well say STALKING, you bumpkin yahoo! STALKER!!**_

_**Hilary: Shaddap, you! One more word and I'll--**_

_**Jacob: Yeah, yeah, you'll whack me with the Whisk of Levitation, or whatever.**_

_**Hilary: whips out said whisk NONBELIEVER!! starts beating Jacob with it**_

_**Jacob: Agh!! THE PAAAIIINN!!)**_

Fortunately, several people had been willing to point out where he had gone off to, though they all gave him suspicious glares. At the moment, he had been directed to an old merchant's stall in the market.

"Raisho? Yeah, I saw 'im. Ran like the dickens out the front gate, 'e did. Might b' goin' to tha' ol' shrine."

"Thanks," Jordan said; he was then shoved aside by an old, pink bird woman who began to haggle (like a real estate) agent over a box of corn.

As he left the stall, however, he realized that he had no idea what shrine the old man had talked about, so he immediately turned back to ask him, only to be stopped and berated about posture from the bird woman.

Trying his best not to be seriously annoyed, he stopped and asked a crocodile man.

"The old shrine? It's just outside the village. As you leave the gate, turn right, then keep walking through the trees and you should find it. You might want t' be careful, though. The whole place is in pretty bad sha--"

"There you are, Jordan!"

"Uh-oh."

There was Jacob, looking seriously peeved, with Azilla walking behind him, seemingly looking sheepish.

Jordan, however, seemed calm. "Hello Jacob."

"What do you mean '_hello__'_? I've been looking _everywhere_ for you, and when I do, you just stroll up and say _'__howdy do__'_ without taking into consideration the situation we're in!"

"Your point?" Jacob took this opportunity of exasperation to slump down against the wall… and bang his head repeatedly against it.

After five minutes, he got up, saying, "My _point_ is that you--" However, when he turned around, he saw that Jordan had left. Completely speechless, he looked at the crocodile man, who pointed and said, "I think he went thata-ways, toward the shrine."

* * *

--The Shrine--

_That guy was right, _Jordan thought, _this place _is_ falling apart._

It hadn't been difficult to find the shrine. When he reached it, however, he found the place fairly wrecked.

Maybe wrecked isn't a good word for it. The place was so old that the stone was practically crumbling to dust before his eyes.

_**(Jacob: Wow, that IS ol--**_

_**Hilary: I said SILENCE, you ! Else I**__**'**__**ll kick you from dawn to dusk wi-**_

_**Jacob: With what? The Boot of Broken Promises, or something?**_

_**Hilary: Slips on said boot EXACTLY! Starts kicking Jacob**_

_**Jacob: MERCYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!)**_

Completely ignoring the beyond-ancient architecture, Jordan stepped inside.

It was even worse inside. Everything, even the atoms in the air, were covered in dust. It was amazing that Jordan didn't start sneezing.

One thing he noticed was that there was a trail of footprints in the dust ahead of him, leading off into another door. He stepped forward…

And an ominous buzzing filled the air.

He stopped dead. _Please, let it be a mosquito, or a bee, or a fly, or something relatively harmless, at least__…_

He slowly turned around to see a rather strange sight…

It looked like an fly, that much he knew. Unlike most flies he had seen in life, this one seemed almost…almost … bell-shaped. Oh, and it only had one eye. Did I mention that it was a cyclops? I think I mentioned that…

At the moment, it seemed to contemplate Jordan for a few moments, giving him the feeling it was considering attacking him. This was true, of course, but he didn't know that.

The 'tiny' insect the size of an entire _hand_ was flattened by the large sword that Jordan held, resulting in a rather loud squish.

_**(Jordan: The sound level for said squish is the equivalent of a horde of rakes scratching across a chalkboard the size of Alabama.**_

_**Hilary: That**__**'**__**s another one of your **__**'**__**long-winded**__**'**__** moments. pulls Jacob**__**'**__**s arm backward into a full nelson PAY UP!**_

_**Jacob: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!)**_

After wiping the sword clean, Jordan walked deeper into the ruin, having no desire whatsoever to meet any more creepy bugs.

As he walked on, he noticed carvings depicting a creepy-looking snake placed every-so-often on the walls. _Probably that Orochi snake-god-thing that Raisho mentioned. Hn__…__Just as creepy as I thought._

It was rather unsettling, walking down a corridor as carvings of snakes stared you down. It was like being threatened by that one hat-throwing guy in _Goldfinger._

(Please don't ask…)

Finally, the corridor ended at a large door engraved with snakes. What sounded like crying was issuing from beyond it. Jordan hesitated for a moment, then opened the door.

The room beyond was gigantic, probably five stories high. Piles of rocks and dirt and God-knows-what littered the chamber. At the other end was an enormous snake statue towering over everything. _More Orochi stuff__…__ ugh__…_

At the base of this giant serpent was Raisho, on his knees and his hands in his face.

As Jordan walked toward him, he noticed that the fox boy was shaking, and as he got closer, he could hear him sobbing.

He never liked bothering anyone when they were going through a crisis, but something made him step forward and place his hand on Raisho's shoulder.

He didn't respond at first, but after a few moments, he looked up at him. Tears were still running down his cheeks.

"What's wrong, Raisho?"

Raisho merely stared at him, then looked down at the ground.

"Why are you here?"

Jordan scratched the back of his head. "Well, I was worried about you, of course! Me and Jacob both! Why else? I mean, we wanted to see if we could help or anything, so..."

Raisho looked up into his face, then looked down again.

"My brother's dead."

Jordan took a step back, feeling horrified. He felt dizzy. _Did__…__did he just say__…_He knew that he, Jacob, and Azilla would find trouble, but he never thought that they would run into anything like this.

"I'm…I'm so sorry," he choked.

Raisho shook his head. "Don't be. It's not like you did it…"

"Well, I know that, but… how--"

"Murdered."

Jordan took another step back, then heard Jacob come in.

"_There_ you… are…" He looked at Jordan and Raisho's faces and immediately sensitized himself to the situation. "What's wrong, Raisho?" Said fox-boy gave Jacob a simple look, then after a moment gave him the same explanation that he gave Jordan.

"Oh my-- that's _horrible_!"

Raisho gave an audible sniff.

Jacob stepped forward. "Is there anything we can do to help…?"

"No… sniff… it's o-okay, but… there _is_ something I w-wanted to t-ell you guys…"

"What?"

Raisho stood up. "Y-you asked before why I don't have a tail, right?"

Jordan nodded. "You said that it had been cut off when you were younger, right?"

Raisho nodded. "But…I wasn't telling you the truth."

Jacob looked surprised. "You weren't?"

"Yeah…that's because…well…"He sucked in a breath, then, with all the courage in every fiber of his being, "I'm…I'm not an actual fox."

Cue the looks of slight confusion from the teens. Raisho sighed, then reached into his pocket, pulling out a photo. "Please, look at this."

It was the same photo that Jacob had seen earlier. "See that woman there? The one that looks nothing like me?" He sniffed again and continued, "She's my mom."

Jordan checked the photo. "Really? She looks pretty nice."

Raisho looked stunned. "Don't you get it? I just said--"

"You said that she's your mom, we heard you," Jacob said. "Neither of us see what's wrong with that--"

"What do you _mean_ you see nothing wrong with that?!" Raisho cried. "Don't you find it strange that I'm a fox who has a human for a mother?! Don't you know what that means?!"

Jordan looked alarmed. "Hey, hey, cool down! You don't have to get all upset, you know!"

"Let me guess," Jacob assumed, "Not everyone approves of… you know, half-fox, half-human people? Well, regardless, we _do_."

Raisho looked startled. "W-what?"

"This bit of information doesn't change our opinion of you one little bit. We will still treat you like a friend, as we both always have…" He then gave Raisho a funny-looking grin, then said, "Though we'll have to work on your kleptomania thing of yours." He ended with a smile.

Raisho wiped away his tears, then managed a smile. "Y-yeah, I guess."

Jordan suddenly asked, "Forgive me for asking, Raisho, but could I have another look at that photo?"

Said fox-boy looked at him for a moment, then gave him the photo. Jordan pointed at the older fox. "This is your dad, right?"

Raisho nodded. "He was a really great guy. Really funny, too. You probably would've liked him.

Jordan chuckled. "I'll bet." He pointed at the woman. "What was your mother like?"

"She was a really nice person. So was my brother. They always saw something of value in someone, no matter who or what they were."

Jordan gazed at the boy. "So that's your brother? What's that orange thing around his leg?"

"It's _obviously_ his tail, you back-country simpleton." Jacob pointed out.

Jordan gave him a glare that could raze all of Greenland, then realized what he just said. "His tail?"

Raisho shrugged. "Er…yeah, he was half-fox too, so…"

'Ohhhhhhhh-- OHHHHHHHHHHH!! I don't get it."

Raisho actually laughed; Jacob thought that if this were a badly written anime, then this would be the part where everyone in the room face-vaulted.

"Well, if you're feeling better, Raisho," Jordan said, "Then perhaps we should leave so that we can discuss this some else--"

As he spun around, the door slammed shut.

_**(Jordan: Is that predictable?**_

_**Jaron: Depends on who**__**'**__**s reading this.**_

_**Jacob: When did YOU get into the **__**'**__**Author**__**'**__**s Notes**__**'**__** booth Jaron?! You**__**'**__**re supposed to be on set!**_

_**Jaron: Not in this fanfic. Not YET, anyway.**_

_**Hilary: Now**__**'**__**s not the time for silly questions. **_

_**Jacob: Wait, Jaron, if YOU**__**'**__**RE here, then WHO**__**'**__**S operating the **__**'**__**Lord of All Lasers**__**'**__**?**_

_**Hilary: Holding such laser That would be ME!!)**_

"I don't like this at all…" Jacob muttered.

"Obviously," Jordan sniffed, "now you're probably going to tell me that the snake statue behind me has come alive."

Both Jacob and Raisho suddenly started pointing behind Jordan, looking quite scared.

Jordan sighed. "Lemme guess…it's about to try and eat me, isn't it?"

They nodded.

_(The techno remix of Cell's Theme from DBZ starts playing)_

Not very many people know this, but most stone statues come alive actually have either bad eyesight or the IQ of a piece of lint. In this case, the snake statue ended up crashing next to Jordan rather than on top of him.

Jacob and Raisho stared at the temporarily stunned snake for a few moments, until Jordan said, "Guys! I'm sure you don't want to be in the same room as a giant snake, so can we _please_ get moving?!"

That was enough to get their attention.

Of course, not everything can be easy, something that they realized as they tried to open the door, which was (surprise surprise) stuck.

Jacob, pounding on the door in vain, yelled, "Okay, this whole 'getting locked in a room with a giant snake' routine is getting old!"

"Tell me about it," Jordan grunted.

"Uh, guys?" Raisho stammered. "The statue's back up. And it's looking right at us…"

Yes, the statue was giving them what looked like a very hungry look.

At this point, Jordan, not wanting to be eaten by a snake statue, grabbed the handle of the door and started pulling it, yelling for his life. "THERE IS NO WAY WE'RE GOING TO BE DEVOURED BY SOME SNAKE-SHAPED ROCK!! LEMME OUTTA HERE!!"

"Lemme help!" Jacob grabbed the handle. "On three… THREE!!"

That sort of thing barely ever works, just in case you're wondering. This just made them both more panicked.

Okay, let me explain in this way: "AAAAAAGGHHHH!!"

That good enough for you? Thank you.

"Raisho!! Can't you blow the door up or anything?!" Jacob yelled anxiously, as the snake moved ever closer.

"I can't."

"WHAT DO YOU _MEAN_ YOU CAN'T?!" Jacob was growing more worried with every moment.

"Ancient religious bylaws state that anyone who causes any sort of uproar in any sort of shrine housing a holy deity will result in, and I quote, 'damnation unto time's end'."

"Oh." was Jacob's response.

Jordan, on the other hand, pretty much lost it at that point. "SCREW THE BLOODY BYLAWS!! EITHER BLAST OPEN THIS DOOR WITH THAT FREAKY BOMB MAGIC THING OF YOURS OR SO HELP ME I'LL CHOP YOU IN HALF WHERE YOU _STAND_!!"

At this point the giant statue was about to dive on top of them all, so they all barely managed to dive out of the way before it crushed them. After picking himself up, Jacob grabbed Jordan and Raisho by their collars and dragged them behind a pile of rubble. After doing so, he faced Raisho and said, "Any one got a plan?" Everyone shook their heads 'no'. Azilla just scratched her ear. "Okay…" He thought to himself. "Any one up for the occupation of 'distraction'?" He was met with death glares. Azilla started to lick herself.

"Can I say something?" Jordan asked abruptly. Jacob nodded. "We are in a god-knows-how-old shrine, being menaced by a statue of a snake, and we're probably about to die, and you want to discuss _tactics_?"

"Do you WANT to live, or NOT!?"

"It was a yes or no question, Jacob."

"He has a point, Jordan." Raisho spoke up. "We _can_ do this, we just need to find out _how_."

Jordan stared at both of them, then repeated (sounding slightly bad tempered, I might add), "It was a _yes_ or _no_ question, Jacob."

Raisho had had enough. "You sound as if you _want_ to die!! Have some _backbone_!!"

"It's about _time_!!" Jacob was glad that someone _really _saw how Jordan acted in a crisis.

Said bumpkin merely sighed and placed his head on his hands. "Okay, I don't want any of us to die, and I know we need to think of SOMETHING, but could somebody just answer my question just so we can get it over with?!"

"Wait…" Raisho thought aloud. "You asked a question? I thought you were making a statement."

"…" Jordan's expression was enough.

"Yes, you--" Jacob was _really_ laying it on thick at this point, "-- Herculean exemplar, we want to discuss tactics."

"About time you said that." Jordan stood up. "I'll go and distract it and nearly get killed, while you guys try to leave with Azilla."

And before either of them could stop him, he pulled out the sword from his bag and ran out from behind the rubble pile, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Jacob tried to come out from under cover to save Jordan, but Raisho held him back. "Don't do it!"

"What, and let him get killed?!"

Oddly enough, he probably didn't have to do anything. Five seconds after running out of cover, Jordan had tripped and fallen over, causing his sword to fly out of his hands and bury itself into one of the snake's eyes.

"Well…" Jacob marveled at their luck. "_That_ could work."

As Jordan looked up, he saw that the snake, obviously enraged by a five-foot blade being driven into its head, was rearing up to probably pulverize him. He stood up, but before he could so much as move, he heard a loud BANG, followed by rocks showering down upon him. Looking up, he saw that part of the snake's skull had been blown away.

Jacob glanced at Raisho, eyebrows raised. "I thought you said there were bylaws?"

"Just don't tell anyone I did that, especially Father Lorenzo."

Jacob glanced at the snake, who was about to try and slam Jacob again. "Could you do it again?"

"You don't need to ask. _Bombarda!_"

Again, pieces of rock were blasted from the snake's head, causing it to do the statue's equivalent of a screaming roar. More pieces of rock were blasted away, and each time it happened the snake roared…at least until its head was completely blown off.

"Wow," was the only thing that Jordan could say.

The headless statue simply stood there for a full five seconds, then it began to teeter and, after a second, fell to its side completely. This, in turn, blew up a lot of dust, causing a coughing and hacking fit to ensue from everyone. (Azilla just sneezed several times.)

After that, Jacob made to give Raisho a high-five, but said fox boy fell to one knee, obviously exhausted.

"Tired?"

"Y-yeah…just give me a minute to get my strength back...that sort of thing takes up a lot of strength, sometimes…"

As the two of them spoke to each other, Jordan walked over to the remains of the statue and picked up the sword from the rubble.

"Okay, first, thanks for saving our hides, Raisho. Second, does anyone have _any_ idea how to get the door open?"

"We could try a battering ram," Jacob suggested.

"That sounds like a marvelous idea, Jacob, but _what_ are we suppose to use?" He didn't need a verbal confirmation to realize that Jacob was wringing his hands sinisterly, implying _him_ as a battering ram. "Wha—oh, no, _no_, you are _not_—wha—put me _down_—ack! What're you—AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!!" Just before Jordan's skull made contact with the door, it opened, causing him to go flying. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

_**(Jacob: Insert sounds of impact here.)**_

"You think we should've just put him down gently, Jacob?"

"Nah, he's fine."

"_NO_, I AM _NOT_ FINE, YOU _BLASTED_ LITTLE—" This was followed by a long string of expletives so _foul_ in nature that the FCC would have our heads if we actually typed them out.

_**(**__**Jacob: Okay, Jordan actually made most of them up, but this is fan fiction, remember?)**_

Oh, and we forgot to mention that Father Lorenzo was holding the door open, looking flabbergasted. "I didn't even know what half of these _meant_ before today."

_**(Jordan: Does he mean the swear words?**_

_**Jacob: Indeed, you foul-mouthed little firebrand.**_

_**Kaitlin: That reminds me, have you paid Hilary back yet?**_

_**Jacob: Holds out a nickel Yep.**_

_**Hilary: That**__**'**__**s a CANADIAN nickel!!**_

_**Jacob: Which is worth 1.**__**15**__** times more than a REGULAR nickel, my friend.**_

_**Hilary: **__**You think that thing can get me the candles I need around here?! Moron! **_

_**Jordan: Hilary**__**…**__**)**_

"Raisho, may I… speak to you in private?" Lorenzo finally came up to them and addressed them. "Oh, and to those of you who don't know me," He looked to the boys and continued. "I am Father Lorenzo. I'm the pastor here in the village. Do you boys mind telling me what in Orochi's name went on here?"

The two boys looked at each other, Jacob looking nervous, Jordan seemingly amused by the situation. He looked at Lorenzo. "Well, we can explain, buuuuuuuuuuuut I would really like to tell you somewhere that isn't exceedingly filthy."

Raisho cringed as he heard this comment. Lorenzo looked slightly scandalized that Jordan called the shrine filthy, but he quickly regained his composure. "Erm, yes, yes, perhaps we should talk somewhere else…My house, maybe?"

* * *

--Later--

_(The Super Smash Bros. Brawl version of the Theme of Love from the Mother series starts playing)_

As they entered Father Lorenzo's house, Jacob noticed that there was a flamingo spying on them behind a fence, but chose to ignore it.

The inside was comfortable enough. As they sat down in the living room, Lorenzo offered them tea (Which Jordan immediately refused). Once they were comfortable enough, he said, "Now, would you care to tell me what happened?"

Raisho and Jacob glanced at each other for a brief second. But before they could speak, Jordan said nonchalantly, "Wellllll, Jacob and I went into the shrine to cheer Raisho up a bit, and due to my 0.0000000000001 second-long attention span, I blew up that snake statue in the chamber. Why, you may ask? Because it tried to grind our bones to make its bread, _eat_ us, _then_ kill us and use our blood for dish soap." The explanation did the following consequences:

Jacob looked mortified, Raisho looked like he was about to faint, and Lorenzo looked slightly speechless, but then chuckled and said, "Well, I can see you have a sense of humor, but really, I--"

Jordan was practically nose to nose with him before he could finish. "Do you not believe me, sir? NOT surprising. I assure you, I am telling you the truth, BUT that doesn't MEAN that you will believe me, WILL you?"

Raisho looked horrified that Jordan was talking to a priest like this. Jacob, on the other hand, looked as if he was watching a sitcom.

'_Do another monologue, PLEASE!'_ Jacob screamed in his own head. Unfortunately for him, however, Raisho stood up and pulled Jordan away from Lorenzo.

"Jordan, you can't talk like that to him--"

"Says who?" Jordan asked. "Sorry, but I'll talk the way I want, thank you very much, buddy."

"To answer your first question, _the world!_ Second of all, if you talk that way to just anyone, you'll find yourself in constant trouble and danger! Don't you care at all?!"

"First, if I get into trouble and danger, it'll be my own fault, not yours! Second, Why would the world say a thing like that? Is that good enough for you?"

"See what I have to put up with, Raisho?" Jacob had spoken up for once (with a smirk on his face to lighten the mood), although he _hated_ to interrupt a potentially hilarious/dangerous outcome.

Raisho's response was to give Jacob an angry look that would split a rock in two… which had _no effect whatsoever_ on Jacob. Jacob was too into the moment to be sidetracked by a mere glance.

Before Raisho could say anything, however, Lorenzo said (rather sharply, I might add), "Everyone, please, stop. I would just like a simple explanation of what happened today, if you don't mind."

After glancing at Raisho once, Jordan opened his mouth to speak, but--

"I'll explain it, if you don't mind," Raisho said.

As he explained what happened to Lorenzo, Jordan and Jacob glanced at each other, both wondering what the priest's reaction would be. Jacob clearly thought that Lorenzo would explode, while Jordan believed that he would probably either A) not believe them, or B) be very annoyed.

After Raisho finished talking, Lorenzo stayed silent for a moment. Then he said, "So, you say that the statue of a god came to life and attacked you, and you destroyed it to protect yourselves, despite what the bylaws dictate."

"Yes, sir…" Raisho said, his head hung low in shame. Jacob sympathized with him; he'd do that if he was in Raisho's position.

Lorenzo sighed. "You realize, of course, that under normal circumstances, I would have to punish you--"

Raisho looked even more ashamed, but Jordan said angrily, "Hey, hey, hey! You're going to punish him because he saved our lives?! How is that fair, _how_?!"

"Let me finish," Lorenzo said firmly. "Normally, I would have to punish you, Raisho, but under the circumstances, I will have to excuse the three of you on this."

Raisho looked relieved, so did Jacob, and Jordan--"Well, that's good, because if you did punish him, I would have to pelt you with sausage links and candlesticks, then strap you to a futon and blast you out of a cannon for eighty days."

Raisho looked horrified at this, while Jacob looked like he was going to explode laughter out of his mouth. Lorenzo, however, decided not to comment on it. Instead, he said, "I will investigate on why the statue attacked you three in the meantime."

"Thank you," Jacob said. "Now, would you mind if Jordan and I spoke in the other room for a sec?"

"Yes, yes, fine…"

As the two of them left, Jacob said, "Fire him from a cannon for eighty days? You can't say stuff like that to a priest--"

"Then how did I say that to him? Hmm? Well? Answer that, please!"

"With utter disrespect! That's how!!"

"What's your point?"

"Okay… what if some 5-year-old came up to you and started talking trash and whatnot to your face. Wouldn't _you_ be P.O'ed at the kid?"

"Depends on the situation."

"Depends on the--?! You are _impossible_ to deal with!!"

"Says you and half the universe, buddy."

"No… ALL the universe!!"

"Oh, REALLY? And WHY do you think the universe says that?" the argument lasted for at least four hours or so.

_**(Kaitlin: It did not last that long.**_

_**Jordan: Kaitlin, this is fan fiction. We're allowed to do that sort of thing here.**_

_**Jaron: He's right, you know.**_

_**Kaitlin: Don't take sides with him!!**_

_**Jacob: It's a free world. Take whomever's side you want! Heck, have some cake if you want! motions to buffet stand nearby)**_

Anyway, they came back into the living room after agreeing to disagree (again).

_('Sadness and Sorrow' from Naruto starts playing)_

As they took their seats, Lorenzo addressed them directly. "According to what Raisho told me, he told you about himself when you found him in the shrine, correct?"

They both nodded.

"And he told that you said that it did not matter to you about what he is."

"Pretty much."

Lorenzo studied the two for a moment, then said, "You are perhaps the most unusual pair I have ever met."

Jacob smirked, then said, "If _that_ isn't the most backhanded compliment I've heard…"

Jordan gave him a withering look that would slay a wookie, then looked and Lorenzo and asked, "What do you mean, unusual?"

Lorenzo didn't respond at first, instead stroking his chin. Then he said, "Nobody else has ever said that to Raisho in his entire life. In fact, whenever others learn of his and his brother's heritage, they look down upon them, treating them like cattle--no, _worse_ than that. You boys have been as nice to Raisho as his brother, or even his mother, at that."

Jacob stared at Lorenzo, during the conversation, he thought, _'Weak-hearted bigots'_ at the part where Raisho was treated like cattle. Now, however, he felt… well, for lack of vocabulary, honored.

Jordan was staring at Lorenzo with such intensity that Jacob expected the priest to burst into flame at any second. Now, he asked, "They treat him like--just because he's…why?"

"I don't know exactly," Lorenzo said, "but perhaps it's because there are people in the world who cannot accept those different from themselves." He added the last part with a sour look on his face.

Jordan's expression was impossible to read. Jacob looked down in the general direction of his right shoe, fist clenched.

After a moment, Lorenzo said, "That is why you are unusual. Not very many people would accept Raisho like the way you have today."

"Well, that's because there's nothing wrong with him!" Jordan stated. "If there is anyone who thinks otherwise, step forward and I will use a vice to break them in half." There was an uneasy atmosphere emitting from Jordan, causing everyone to move away from him a bit.

Raisho looked up. "Erm, sorry if I'm changing the subject, but…" He looked at his feet again. "Could I go…see my brother?"

"Sure, why not?" Jordan said, waving his hand a single time. "Heck, why don't we come with you?"

"…Sure."

"Sorry to tell you this _now_, but, we _kinda_ snuck into your house to see why you were upset, and we saw a picture of your family. Your brother looks like a taller, not-really-older, version of himself from the photo." Jacob wanted to get that little bit of guilt off of his chest.

"Oh, it's okay."

"I expected you to be annoyed or something," Jordan said.

"Or burst out in a fit of tears, one of the two." Jacob added.

The three finally arrived to the casket with Raisho's brother. The name "KAILO" was printed on the side facing the boys.

"Hello… Brother…"

Raisho gave an audible sniff. Jacob rubbed his eyes. Jordan, on the other hand, was looking at Kailo with a frown on his face.

Jacob noticed the frown. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Raisho?" Jacob turned his attention to the fox boy. "Do you want us to leave you alone for a bit?"

Raisho sniffed. "Yeah, you guys can wait outside if you want." The boys complied without protest (from Jacob). Raisho met them outside within a half hour. Wiping the singular tear about to drop, he looked back up at the teens with confidence. Said teens gave him similar looks back.

"So, what're you going to do now?" Jordan asked.

_(The Super Smash Bros. Brawl version of the Mother 2 theme is playing)_

"Well…" Raisho seemed to be struggling with something, then said, "Would you mind if I came with you guys? I mean, if you don't want me to--"

Before he could finish, Jordan had threw his arm around his shoulders. "Raisho, my friend, please ask yourself this. Why, and I say, WHY would we _not_ want you to come? HMMM?!"

"I think what my _slightly psychotic_ friend here is trying to say, is yes, we would love to have you join us in travel. Although, you might want to inform Father Lorenzo of where you're headed."

After doing so (we're too lazy to type that out today), the boys took the southern exit out of the village. Luckily, Raisho had a map ready. "Okay, if we continue this way for about fifteen miles, then make camp at nightfall, ten travel another twelve miles southeast, we should reach Bonslii City by high noon tomorrow."

"What? You say something?"

"Pay attention, Jordan."

"Well, pardon me, Jacob…"

"You wanna start sumptin'?

Jacob: As you can tell, this was one of the more 'moral-bound' chapters.

Kaitlin: (Sniffs)

Jordan: Kaitlin?

Jaron: Please don't bother her. This chapter was a bit emotional for her, you understand… she always gets sad at these sort of things.

Jacob: I'll try not to. Oh, and Hilary is officially off my case.

Hilary: pokes head around the door, creepy voice For nooooooooooww… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!

Jordan: …Hilary, please…

Hilary: (Gives Jordan an evil eye, then flings an artichoke at Jacob before leaving)

Jacob: ducks the artichoke, hitting Jaron instead you okay, Jaron?

Jaron: Yeah. Just don't like artichokes, that's all.


	7. The Reluctant Assailant

Jacob: Little fun fact for you guys. We actually started doing all of this story in March, but when a stray magnetic dart (courtesy of Jordan's atrocious aim) the disk was wiped clean. We managed to get the seventh paragraph of this chapter done before the magnetic malfunction, so this will be uncharted seas for all of us.

Jaron: And, yes, Jordan _does_ have bad aim.

Jordan: _SHUDDAP!!_

Kaitlin: You first. Anyway, copy-paste all disclaimers here.

Raisho: reads the script We meet another character here?! Sweet!

Jacob: Oh, and no offence to 'short people' intended in this chapter.

Jordan: Commence the show!

* * *

Chapter 6

The Reluctant Assailant

--In the bowels of an unknown creepy citadel--

The same two morons that had attacked Jordan and Jacob in Chapter 3 were being hung from their ears (via recently-added piercing) five yards from the ground, both of them yelling and complaining in discomfort.

"Do you expect _me_ to believe that a group of _children_ would be able to prevent you from obtaining the _one thing _I need?"

"No, honest!" The shorter one of the gits yelled. "We're telling you the truth!!"

"Are you?"

Both of the gits suddenly fell to the floor.

"Beatrice." The figure looked over to a dimly-lit doorway with a schizophrenic-looking woman with frazzed, oil-black hair. She only looked up at the figure to acknowledge that she heard him. "Feel free to do anything you want to these fools, aside of slaying them."

The woman, Beatrice, grinned wickedly as she grabbed both gits by the feet and dragged them away, all the while giving suggestions as to what to do to them. "Hmmm, perhaps I should take you to Revolver Ocelot, he's _quite_ excelled at torture. Or perhaps I shall utilize the new stretching rack that Mr. Drake brought in the other day, that should suffice. Or maybe I shall proceed to use the Transylvanian Transmogrifying Torture No. 8439 on the two of you… I've been _dying_ to use that on someone…"

* * *

--On the road to Bonslii City--

_('Konohamaru's Theme' from Naruto starts playing)_

"Now, let me get this straight, Raisho… You have a kleptomania streak?"

"Regrettably, yes."

"When you say 'kleptomania', do you mean like, say, you always get the urge to steal what's in front of you?"

It had been a few hours since the four of them (Azilla included, who had been found sleeping in Raisho's house) had left for Bonslii City.

"Basically, that's the thing I've got going on. I guess I've gotten so used to using my--" He went into a stealthy ninja-like pose. "--thievery techniques--" He went back to normal walking. "--to get on in life, it just… sorta happens."

"Can you control it?" Jordan asked.

Raisho shook his head. "No. When I see something, I can't help myself. I just take it. I mostly feel ashamed of myself afterwards."

" Interesting," Jordan said, "it really is, but I would like to say that I would appreciate it if you don't steal anything unless you need to while we're traveling like this, if you can help it. Okay?"

Raisho looked guilty. "Sorry, I…"

Jordan: "Wha--hey! Where's my keychain!?"

"Erm…" Raisho sheepishly pulled out a keychain on a cord from his pocket. "H-here…"

Jordan, looking peeved, took the keychain and placed it around his neck, grumbling, "You'd better not do that again…"

"Hey, I'm sorry! But I can't help it!"

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest, then grinned. "Well, we'll just have to teach you the ways of 'Non-thievery'."

"'Non-thievery'? Does that even make sense?"

"KNEEL, NON-BELIEVER!!" Jacob suddenly pointed at Jordan with an overly theatrical voice and pose.

"Meow."

The big neon sign displayed 'Welcome to Bonslii City!' in multiple colors. The sign itself could be expressed as a work of modern art in it's own right. Jacob marveled at it, whistling (in his unique way, by _sucking air _through his mouth). Jordan, on the other hand, seemed somehow confused.

"Wha--how did we get here so fast?"

"What d'you mean?"

"And I thought _I_ had a problem with my kleptomania."

"Never mind… let's just go into the city." They did so.

_**(Jordan: 'They did so'? That just sounds boring, you realize that?**_

_**Jaron: Enough…)**_

One word: congested. That's how one would describe traffic, whether it was vehicle traffic or otherwise. The entire city seemed intimidating due to size. It reminded Jordan of New York City (without the pollution or 'gentleman's clubs'), complete with the crowds. At least it wasn't smelly. Did we mention it was crowded? Raisho thought about stealing the parts off the sign, but the teens dragged him away before he gave into his klepto urges.

Did we mention that it was very crowded?

"Nice place," Jordan said. "Where should we go first?"

From a skyscraper above, a very short teen with red hair looked at our unsuspecting young 'heroes.'

"Heh…looks like a bunch o' yahoos t' me…" He directed his gaze on Jacob, then Raisho, and at last on Jordan. "What the--hey…" He had noticed the sword handle coming out of Jordan's pack. The nineteen-year-old let a low whistle. "That looks niiice… Might be worth a lot…hmmm…"

He turned around, yelling at someone out of view. "Gordon! Get yer fat carcass up and get that little drip Gabriel up here!!"

"I can't believe how expansive the city is! This makes New York City look like a village!" Jacob marveled while looking up and around the city.

"I'm assuming this 'New York City' is from you guy's home, right?" Jordan opened his mouth to comment, but Jacob flashed him a look that changed his mind.

Instead he said, "So, Raisho, have you been here before?"

"Oh, yeah, lots of times. I usually just pass through when I'm here, though. The most I've done here is stay at a few inns and…"

Jacob suddenly interrupted. "And pick pocketed a few people?"

He guessed right. "Yeah…" Raisho hung his head in shame.

"Did they deserve it?" Jordan asked.

"Erm, maybe…"

"What do you mean, maybe?"

"Uh…"

"I'm waiting."

"He doesn't need to give you an answer, Jordan."

"I know that, but I would like an answer anyway."

Raisho decided to change the subject (a good move, as it turned out). "S-so, you guys want to get something to eat?"

Jacob wildly shook his head, while Jordan looked as if he had eaten a Sour Warhead candy. Then he asked, "Does the food here seem ANYTHING like the garbage that Jacob and I put up with earlier?"

"Garbage?"

"You know full well what I mean, fox boy."

"Do you?"

"Considering the fact that I had a piece of someone's LAWN on that boat, and the fact that the only ACTUAL things that Jacob and I have eaten were sandwiches and LAKE water, I'm sure that both you and I know what I meant. Right?"

The fox-human hybrid just gaped at him for a moment, then, "Uh.. I think.. I think I get it."

Jordan clasped his hands together in mock prayer. "God bless us at last, we have a breakthrough!!"

To get in on the gag, Jacob yelled "Hallelujah!"

To avoid further confusion, Raisho said, "I'm going to…see if there's any…good restaurants anywhere. I'll go and look, while you two…stay here."

As he ran off, Jordan muttered, "Oh, fine, leave without us, why don't you?"

As he stared off into the direction that Raisho had run off in, Jacob tapped his shoulder. "Jordan?"

"Eh--what?"

Turning around, he saw what Jacob was indicating.

A seventeen-year-old boy with light-brown hair and a white T-shirt was standing five feet away from them. When he realized that they had noticed him, he suddenly became rather nervous and started shifting from one foot to the other. Jordan was getting the impression that this guy seemed to be hesitating about something.

"Uh, do you need something?" he asked.

The stranger nearly jumped when he heard that. He stood there, trembling. Suddenly there came another voice behind the frightened teen.

"NO, no, all wrong!" From behind the teen came a short, stocky red-headed boy/teen hybrid who was around four feet tall, give or take. Behind _him_ was an unbelievably tall (and unfathomably thick-headed) guy, somewhat older than the short one, and related, judging from the facial features the tall and short ones shared. "You're supposed to be _threatening_, and _scary_! Not like a _friggin' toddler_! Like this!" The flame-haired midget then took the nervous boy's shank, and proceeded to strike a pose like he was some kind of Arabian thief after Aladdin for his lamp. Said short little firebrand then turned to the teens. "Gimme all a' yer munnie!"

There was total silence for a moment, then Jordan stepped forward and lightly pulled the knife out of the guy's grip. He then proceeded to pulling out an apple and sliced it into quarters, then he gave everyone a slice ('Shorty' just got the core of the apple), then placed the knife back into his hand.

"Aw, shee, doesn't baby wike his apple? Yesh he does!" Jacob then proceeded to taunt him with 'baby talk.' Even the tall dude behind him and the previously nervous kid started to laugh a bit.

The midgit (For lack of a better term--no, maybe 'twit' would be better) looked like he was about to burn with rage, judging from the fact that his face was as red as his hair. "Y-you…little…shaddap, SHADDAP, _SHADDAP_!"

Oddly enough, at this point Jordan and Jacob were actually reading the newspaper and not paying him any attention. "Ooh, look, there's a sale at Penny's!"

_**(Jacob: Jordan, I knew you liked shoes, but…**_

_**Jordan: It's a JOKE, Jacob!!**_

_**Kaitlin: Couldn't you tell?**_

_**Jacob: A, it's sarcasm, and B, it's called 'going along with the joke.')**_

The incredibly short man-boy-whatever looked like he was about to blow a gasket. "SHADDAP, YOU --HOLES!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!! ENOUGH, I TELL YOU!! GABRIEL, GET RID OF THESE NUMBSKULLS _**NOW!!**_"

"Hey, guys, I'm ba-- what's with _him_?"

As most people can obviously guess, Raisho had already came back (With some blue bananas and other assorted fruits). The situation in front of him was, well… just plain odd. (Plus, a crowd had begun forming around them.)

Jacob looked up from his newspaper. "Oh, he's just going through a midlife crisis."

"I'M NINETEEN!!"

"And your body is three. Your point?"

Allow us to translate his response in a way that _won't_ get us in trouble with the FCC: "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"Wow." Jacob hadn't heard a tenth of those before, and was currently surfing the dictionary for their meanings.

Meanwhile, Raisho was telling Jordan about a sale at Penny's. "Yea, Raisho, I saw that in the paper."

"ISN'T ANYONE PAYIN' ATTENTION TO _ME_?!"

"NO!" came the collective response of the boys and crowd.

The short guy looked like he was about to explode, but then he took a few breaths, then said in the calmest tone possible, "All right, tell you what. Just gimme that sword you've got there, and we'll leave you alone, savvy?"

"Why?" Jordan asked.

"Wha--What do ya _mean_ 'Why?'"

"I mean 'why'. Seriously, why do you want it? Do you need it for firewood or something? I can let you BORROW it, but you'd have to give it back, and I can tell just by _looking_ at you that you wouldn't want to. So? Why do you want it?"

The short man stood silent for five full seconds, then said angrily, "Lemme put it to ya THIS way: Hand it over, or I'll set him loose."

He gestured at the nervous teenager.

"I can tell by looking in his eye," Jacob spoke matter-of-factly, "that _he_ wouldn't hurt a fly.. Unless forced, which is what _you guys _are doing."

"That translates to a big, fat NO," Jordan said (also matter-of-factly).

"Oh, for the love of…" Mr. Shorty looked quite irate at this point. "GORDON!!"

They assumed that the tall guy was Gordon, because he belched (loudly) in response and stepped in front of them.

"Well, doesn't HE look scary," Raisho said (sarcastically), "Doesn't he, guys?"

"That he does," Jordan said, "but I have a question. If two jet planes are racing toward each other over the coast of California at a speed of fifty miles per minute, and the pilot for one of the planes is eating a sandwich high in cholesterol and fiber, and the color of the jets are purple, at what time will both pilots meet each other in a bar?"

This was too much for Gordon to handle. His form of denial was to do the robot (dance). The little leader-that-could was mad as heck. "Wh-what did you guys do to him?!"

"Asked him a question," was Jordan's (predictable) response.

Jacob then got an idea. "Let's make him do 'Thriller!'"

Here's the short guy's response:

"NO!! NO THRILLER!! GABRIEL, DAMN YOU, DO YOUR JOB SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH!!"

"Uh.. Su-sure, Blake! Yeah." Fearing Blake's (aka 'Shorty') wrath if he did otherwise, the teenager started walking toward them.

As soon as he was almost face-to-face with Jacob, said teen stared to say, "Okay, now, why don't we all just sit down and relax, so we--"

_('Steel Python' from No More Heroes starts playing)_

Gabriel immediately interrupted him by trying to punch him in the face, causing him to duck. He would've then punched him in the stomach if Jordan hadn't grabbed him from behind. "Okay, you're being a little too violent, so I suggest that-- ack!"

The reason why he said "ack" was due to that Gabriel had grabbed him and had flung him onto his back. "Ouch…"

As soon as his head cleared, he saw that Gabriel was about to punch him, forcing him to roll out of the way. It's a good thing he did, 'cause Gabriel's fist caused a large crater in the ground.

They all stared at this crater, Jacob completely shocked, Raisho amazed, and Jordan glad that his face was still intact…

"HahaHAAAAH!! Not so glad you guys messed with us NOW, _EH_?!" Blake was now enjoying the _sweet _fruits of satisfaction.

The grin on his face was wiped clean when Raisho grabbed Gabriel from behind, gripped his own elbows, and flipped him onto his back.

"You were saying?" Jordan asked.

"Grrr… he's not even _begun_ to fight! GABRIEL! Step it _up_!! Gordon! Grab the fox and the shorter moron!!"

As soon as Raisho got up, Gordon complied with grabbing him, then proceeded with seizing Jordan.

"I SAID _SHORTER_, NOT THE _SKINNY_ ONE!!"

Suddenly, he felt someone tapping his shoulder.

"Don't _I_ have a say in this?" Jacob, behind Blake, suddenly turned him around, picked him up by the collar, high above his own head. He then let go of the stout, flame-haired boss, and _just_ when Blake was face-level during the fall, his face met Jacob's fist. Needless to say, this caused him to go about 5 feet away.

"Good aim!" Raisho yelled. (He and Jordan had escaped Gordon's grip by tickling him.) Jordan flashed a smile and thumbs-up.

The mood was slightly ruined by Gabriel grabbing him by behind. "S-stop hurting Blake, or I-I'll break him in two!"

"That's _impossible_; he's too flexible to be broken!" Gabriel _barely_ managed to successfully hold in a laugh, while Raisho laughed openly, and Jordan gave Jacob a glare.

Blake, on the other hand, ignored this completely. "Atta boy, Gabriel! Never thought you had it in ya!"

He turned to Jacob. "Now, if ya don't want your friend to become a pretzel, hand over your--wha?"

_('Gohan Angers 1 and 2' from DBZ start playing)_

Jacob had started slowly walking toward him, but before he could get close enough, Jordan spoke.

"If you want to kill me, why haven't you done so?"

"Dummy! Don't you know the bait system?" Blake countered his question with an argument of his own.

"Think that matters to me? Besides, I know that this guy wouldn't kill me even if we refuse to give you what you want."

"Wattaya mean by that?!"

"Simple. This guy doesn't have what it takes to kill me. I can tell just by looking at him. In fact, I'm amazed that he even hangs around someone like you. So…Gabriel, right? I can tell you don't want to fight. So why don't you let me go, and let me and my friends in peace?"

A light bulb went off in Jacob's head; he knew what Jordan was driving at. "In fact, you can come _with_ us! We'll treat you _a __**whole **__lot_ better than these two!"

Gabriel seemed taken aback at this. After a moment, he released Jordan.

"Thanks," the former captive said.

Gabriel didn't seem to be able to say anything. Somehow, he managed a coherent sentence. "I… are you gu-guys… serious?"

"Of course they ain't serious!!" Blake yelled. "_We's_ the only ones ta take care a you!"

"Liar."

"What Jordan said, Gabriel. LIES AND SLANDER!!"

Blake looked like he would explode (again). "SHADDAP!! JUST SHADDAP!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE!! GABRIEL, JUST TAKE CARE OF THEM SO WE CAN LEAVE!!"

At this point, Gabriel grabbed his head to make sense of everything. "Uuuuuugh…."

"Gabriel…" Jacob spoke calmly. "Only you can make this decision, no one else."

Gabriel seemed to struggle with something.

"Gabriel, do ya really believe those morons?! Make up yer mind!!"

"AAAAAHHHH!!"

At last, he let out a loud yell and turned to run, but he tripped. And something rather startling happened. A pair of beige wings seemingly sprouted from his back. Blake was horrified, Gordon picked his navel, Jacob thought 'Cool', Raisho was startled, and Jordan looked as if this was as normal as watching an elderly lady picking fresh turnips in her garden.

_**(Jaron: That's an… 'interesting' way to put it.)**_

"Ow…" As Gabriel got up, he realized that something was wrong. His fears were confirmed as he placed his hand behind his back. He was completely speechless.

"You okay?"

Jordan had walked up to him and was now offering his hand to help him up. Instead, however, Gabriel let out a terrified yell and ran off.

"Okay…" Jacob said, looking slightly confused. He turned to Blake and Gordon. "Would you care to explain--" They were already gone. "_Crap_! Where'd they go?!"

"Probably after that Gabriel kid."

That was the last thing that Jordan said before running off after said winged teenager.

* * *

As stated before, Bonslii City is big. _Very_ big. It's really hard to describe how big it is. Yet, despite its size, Jordan was able to locate the place where Gabriel (and the two thugs) had gone…which happened to be a ruined apartment building.

And when I say ruined, I mean RUINED. Seriously, it was so wrecked and vandalized, it was amazing that anyone would want enter it.

Of course, Jordan was the kind of person to go inside a place like that, regardless of any risk. Jacob and Raisho were less happy to enter, but they ended up being dragged inside anyway.

"Who knows who, or what, could be in there."

"A red haired midget, a guy who has the IQ of toast, and a guy with a pair of wings who seemed terrified at the drop of a hat. What did you _think_ I meant, Jacob?"

"I meant diseases, and such, you 3-D stick figure."

"Shh… You two, I think I hear voices." Raisho interrupted the teen's potentially volatile situation when he started picking stuff up in his ears.

"It's coming from that door over…there."

As they inched closer to the door, they could hear people talking… well, more or less yelling in anger/pain.

It became apparent who was yelling in what emotion when they looked through the keyhole.

"YOU IDIOT!!" That was obviously Blake.

"OOOOWWWW!!" That must've been Gabriel.

"YOU JUST _HAD_ TO MESS THINGS UP, DIDN'T YOU?!" Blake screamed. "IT WAS A SIMPLE ENOUGH JOB, BUT _NO_, YOU HAD TO GO AND _RUIN_ THINGS!! I DON'T KNOW WHY I TOOK YOU IN, IF I KNEW THAT YOU WERE THIS USELESS I WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED!!

"I-I'm sorry--OOOOWWWW!!"

"SORRY?! _SORRY_?! YOU THINK THAT WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR YOU?!"

The reactions from the three teens and one feline were thus:

"Geez, and I thought _you_ had anger issues, Jordan." That was Jacob's.

"That _isn't funny_." The stick figure.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Raisho's.

"Meow." Who do you THINK?!

"Hmmm…" Jacob started thinking aloud. "Anyone up for raiding the place?"

"One sec," Jordan muttered as he tried to pick the lock with the sword's tip.

"You're going to break the _whole door_ if you keep--" Raisho began.

_Click. _"It's unlocked."

Jacob could only say one thing. "You--"

"Suck, yes, I know that, Jacob. Now, who wants to break open the--"

"**DOOR**!!" Jacob yelled as he bust down the aforementioned wooden barrier.

Jordan let out a sigh. "Only as _he_ can."

"WHAT THE --!?"

"Watch your language, little boy." Jacob simply_ loved_ taunting Blake.

Blake's reaction was as thus:

"SHUT THE H-- UP!! IF YOU CALL ME LITTLE _ONE MORE --ING TIME_--"

"You'll _what_? Kick me moderately hard in the shins? Or is that too _high _up for you to _climb_?" Jacob said that _purely_ to see what Blake (or Blake 'The Cake', as he named him in his mind) would do in reaction. Long story short, it wasn't pretty.

Blake's response was so full of swearing that we can't put it on print. We can put it in as censored, however:

"BEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP YOU SO BEEEEEEPING MUCH YOU'LL BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPING BEEP BEFORE YOU CAN BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP AGAIN FOR BEEP!! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!"

"Wow… just, wow." Was Jacob's response to the _vast_ new library of swears just introduced to him.

"Uh… got some anger issues to work out, do we?" Was Raisho's answer to the likewise atrocious vocabulary onslaught.

"Sorry, I was busy picking wax outta my ears. Could you _kindly_ repeat that?" Was Jordan's reaction, though why he wanted to instigate another verbal assault on his mind, who knows.

Blake 'The Cake' was about to verbally brutalize their young minds _again_, when Gabriel spoke up.

"You know, actually…they might…actually have a point, Blake."

In response, Gordon broke wind. Blake just gaped at Gabriel. "You… you **dare** develop a _spine_ in fron--?!"

"I think you mean 'independence streak', Blake 'The Cake'." Jacob cut in.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!! AND I _KNOW_ I'M _SHORT_!!"

"Well that's a relief," Jordan said, "because I thought you were going through a serious case of severe denial."

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU --HOLE!! Now, as I was saying, Gabriel, before I was _rudely_ interrupted, you are _not_ leaving me and Gordon. I mean, where would you go? Nobody likes you, remember?! So you are going to _stay_ here, in this _hellhole_ with us forever, under_staaaand_?!"

_('Loneliness' from Naruto starts playing)_

"I do."

"Huh?"

Raisho had spoken up. Indeed, he _did_ know what Blake was yelling at Gabriel about. "I know how it's like to be hated because of what you are." He slowly walked closer to Gabriel. "I know the cold, uncaring sting of prejudice. I know the hatred and venom in people's eyes when they look at you, seeing only a creature, looking at you as less than human." He eventually got close enough to Gabriel to gently put his hand on Gabe's shoulder. "Trust me. I know."

Gordon was crying in the corner, balled up in the fetal position in the back corner of the room. Gabriel looked as if he was looking at a mirror. Jacob was on the verge of tears. Jordan looked melancholy. Blake looked as mad as if he was about to get his writing arm chopped off.

This, of course, led to him virtually exploding. "BEEEEEEEP YOU!! BEEEEEEEEP YOU ALL TO BEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEEEP!! BEEEEEEEEEP!!"

"What's with you?" Jordan looked both alarmed and annoyed that Blake had torn the mood apart.

"Can't you keep your mouth shut for at least five seconds?!" Jacob asked, looking annoyed too.

Blake just ignored them.

"GABRIEL!! DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE WHAT THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE IS SAYING?!"

Raisho visibly flinched, but went back to Gabriel. "See what I mean?"

"GABRIEL!! WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE, ME OR HIM?! WELL?! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!! YOU'D BETTER LOOK ME IN THE FACE OR ELSE I--"

"Shut up."

"WHA-- what?"

"You heard me. Please, be quiet."

Jordan looked triumphant, Jacob cracked his knuckles while looking villainously at Blake 'The Cake'. Raisho, on the other hand, was smiling slightly. And Gordan was, still, in the fetal position, crying in the corner.

Blake, however, looked eerily calm. "What?" His tone was calm, but his hands were clenched.

Gabriel looked at him. "I've had enough. I don't want to stay with you anymore. I've found people who care about me, _not_ people who _use_ me as a tool!"

Due to the fact that one of us is lazy, I'll just skip to Blake losing his temper (AGAIN):

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! YOU BETTER BEEEEEEEEPING WISH I BEEEEEEPING DON'T BEEEEEPING SEE YOUR BEEP AGAIN! OTHERWISE, I'LL BEEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEP YOU UP SO BAD YOU'LL--Wha?!"

"Oh, shut up," Jordan muttered as he grabbed and lifted Blake from behind. "Allow me to say something to you, Mr. Cupcake," he seethed, staring into Blake's face, "I am APPALLED that this guy would stay with someone like you. I don't know how long he's been with you, and I don't know why, but I have had ENOUGH. Now, allow me to show you a coup d'état."

"A what?"

"THIS!" Jordan's yell was quickly followed by Blake being (very roughly) jammed into an oil barrel.

"HEY!! YOU'D BETTER BEEPING LET ME OUTTA HERE RIGHT BEEPING NOW!! _GORDON_!!"

_(The Mother 2 Theme from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts playing)_

Said overgrown moron got up and started lumbering toward Jordan and Jacob. Their response was something both brave and stupid: they charged into him. Shrieking out a war cry at the top of their lungs, as well. Ironically, Gordon started blubbering because of the noise, and started running to the exit… only to trip over the oil barrel Blake was in. Said overpowered moron and aforementioned swearing short person tumbled down the _entire_ stairwell.

Raisho gave both boys a hard stare. "Were you two thinking at all?"

"I was," Jacob said, "but I don't know if Jordan was. And to be honest, I'm not sure if that," He mentioned to the stairwell. "was an intended result." He then turned to Jordan. "_Was_ it?"

"Probably not."

"Figured as much."

"Um… hey, guys?" The group turned their attention to Gabriel. "Did you… mean all that stuff you said?"

"Yes," Raisho said. 'And you know what? Jordan and Jacob are the first two people who accept me for what I am."

"R-really?!" Gabriel was, for one, shocked.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't see why people hate someone for what they are," Jacob said.

"And as for me, I don't really care about WHAT you are, it's your personality that counts. And I would like to unnecessarily add that Blake has a terrible personality. Speaking of which, do you think we should check on him?" Jordan looked at the stairwell.

"Oh, just leave them," was Jacob's response.

"Okay then, why don't we get out of here? The smell's getting to me."

"Meow."

(I wondered where she had gone…)

Outside of the building, Jordan turned to Gabriel. "So, what about you? I'm sure you don't want to stay here."

"To be honest, I'd rather… travel with you guys."

Jordan looked thoughtful at this, then he turned around to look at the others. "Are either of you okay with Gabriel coming with us?"

"Sure!" came Jacob's reply.

"I'm good with it," Raisho said.

"Meow." Again, guess who said this one.

Jordan turned to Gabriel. "It's settled! You can come with us." He threw an arm around Gabriel's shoulders. "But I'd like to ask you some questions…"

* * *

Kaitlin: I expected some big fight scene between you guys and that midgit, but…

Jordan: Do you have a better idea, my dear Kaitlin?

Jacob: Here (hands her a pen and a piece of paper) Top us… if you can.

Kaitlin: Okay, fine, I will.

Jaron: Okay, the next time we submit a chapter will be

A) Cats and dogs _literally_ rain from the sky, or

B) 2 weeks have gone by.

Kaitlin: Okay, I'm done. (Hands over paper) Trust me, it's better.

Jacob: It's a bit bloody…

Kaitlin: A few bloody noses are gory to you?

Jacob: I'm the one getting the majority of them!

Jordan: Let me look. (Takes paper) It's--wow…I…this is…okay…okay, maybe a little exaggerated, Kaitlin, but…

Gabriel: Can I see? (Takes paper) Hmmm… Hm… I agree with Jordan, the violence is slightly over exaggerated…

Kaitlin: Ugh! (Snatches paper) You guys have _no_ taste for literature!


	8. Well, Excuss me, Princess!

(Jordan is busy writing on a notepad, but there's a gumball machine-like robot trying to look over his shoulder)

Jordan: (Obviously annoyed) Tom…what do you want?

Tom Servo: I'm just looking, I swear--

Jordan: Well, I'm sorry, but the next chapter for 'Sole Exception' is _far_ from done, so go away! (Boots Tom out of the room)

Kaitlin: About time.

Jacob: Who _built_ him anyway?

Kaitlin: Ask NUTCASE. Anyway, today we finally manage to produce yet another mind-numbing chapter for all of the depraved masses who can't even remember the directions to the local grocery store.

Jacob: The readers will hate you for that, Kaitlin. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if-- sees zombie horde clambering at window --uh, if _that_ happened.

Kaitlin: I was talking about you and Jordan.

Jacob: Oh, alright. turns to window Take five, guys! zombies disperse

Max: By the way, where's Jaron? I haven't seen him today.

Jordan: He had to help someone with something.

Max: You mean that Gantz Gun thing?

Kaitlin: What Gantz Gun thing?

Jacob: Read the papers.

Kaitlin: What's that suppose to mean?

Jordan: Oh, that's right, I forgot to tell her…

Jacob: You _forgot_!?

Kaitlin: Forgot to tell me what?

Jordan: Ummm…

Jacob: _You_ tell her, _you_ forgot!

Max: Maybe I should start the chapter… Again, all previous disclaimers go here, yadda yadda… but, you guys remember Jacob's dream in chapter 2? Well, just keep that in mind…

* * *

Chapter 7

Well, Ex_cuse_ Me, 'Princess'!

_('Season of the Samurai' from No More Heroes starts playing, and continues to play until the next 'Music Insert')_

"So, how did you get your wings, Gabriel?" Thinking that Gabriel was a mix of human and another species, Raisho felt that a fellow 'hybrid' should ask him, to make it more comfortable.

"Uh, well… I'll tell you that… if, well…" Gabriel tried to think up something clever. "…If you tell me where your fur came from, and why you're tail-less."

Gabriel's endeavor proved futile, as Raisho had his origins already loaded as a planned comeback. "Okay. My mom was human, and my dad was a fox, and, well," He held his arms out wide, as if presenting himself as a large reward. "Here I am!"

_**(Kaitlin: That just sounds…for crying out loud…you guys have no subtlety.**_

_**Jacob: You realized that just NOW?)**_

Jacob suddenly noticed that Gabriel's face lit up light a Christmas tree, and that was his only warning he got when Gabriel's mood suddenly went from 'nervous' to 'OMG I know what you mean!'.

"Y-Yeah! Me too. Well, close to it, anyway. My dad is human, and my mother is avian, which is why I have the wings."

"Okay, that solves _that_ problem," Jordan was still wondering about _one_ thing, thought. "_How_ can you cave the pavement in with _one blow_?!" Gabriel didn't know how to answer, so he shrugged, causing Jordan to face fault. "Well, I can't honestly say I didn't expect that as an answer." He said to no one in particular as he got up.

"Say, Raisho," Jacob realized that Raisho never told him their destination, even though they had been walking on this dirt road for an hour. "Where're we headed?"

"Ganzly Spaceport."

Jordan nearly tripped over Azilla. "Ganzly WHAT?" Jacob just froze mid-step, causing him to almost fall over.

"Spaceport. Ganzly Spaceport."

_**(Kaitlin: Fascinating. You have such marvelous naming skills, Jordan. I am overcome with awe.**_

_**Jacob: You should see the one hobo who stopped us on the street for spare change last week. He didn't give us a name, but Jordan gave him a nickname for reference.**_

_**Max: What?**_

_**Jacob: George. Just 'George'. **_

_**Jordan: Okay, guys, you can stop now.**_

_**Kaitlin: Personally, I find it appalling that you named a SPACEPORT after G--**_

_**Jordan: That's not where I got the name!**_

_**Kaitlin: Sure. Right. I'll buy that.**_

_**Jacob: I wonder where HE came up with it, though…)**_

"A spaceport," Jordan repeated.

"Well, yeah."

"One with spaceships and such…right?"

"Gummi ships, really." Raisho clarified.

NOW Jacob was confused. "_What_ kind of ships?!"

"Gummi ships. Don't you know what those are?"

"NO!!" Was the combined response of Jacob and Jordan.

Raisho stared at them both. "Where do you guys _live_, anyway?"

"That isn't important," Jordan said before Jacob would so much as _breath_e. Jordan's answer caused Jacob to _almost _reach over to rip his pancreas out through his stomach.

"Anyway," Jordan said hastily before Jacob would rip out said organ, "What exactly is a gummi ship, anyway? No, wait, don't tell me. They're made of gum. Right?"

"Well, it isn't _really_ gum," Raisho said, "But a gummi ship is made of blocks that stick together easily. I don't really know the specifics."

"Meow," Azilla said.

"Well, I never really looked that sort of thing over myself."

"Wait," Jordan pondered. "You can understand her?"

"Yeah, I can," Raisho said. "I can understand _most_ animals, anyway."

Jordan looked stunned. And I mean 'stunned'. Not just 'that really surprises me' stunned, more like the 'WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THE UNIVERSE?!' kind of stunned. At this point, Jacob suspected just about _anything_, so he took this particularly in stride.

"You…can understand her?" Jordan said weakly.

"Yes," Raisho said, looking alarmed at Jordan's reaction. "Why? Is that bad?"

"No…it…it's just unexpected, that's all."

"Okay, then…"

* * *

Ganzly Spaceport wasn't as crowded as Bonslii City, but it was big, anyway. Especially since it was _one_ structure. The city around it wasn't small, either.

"It's almost as big as Bonslii City!" Jacob marveled in the size of the place.

"Not exactly," Raisho said, "But it's nice enough. So, where would you like to go?"

"What, are there multiple sections of the city or something?"

"I mean do you want to go anywhere in particular? We could go to the spaceport if you want."

"No, no, I want to explore first."

"Okay, then. Maybe we can go buy some stuff while we're at it."

"Sounds like a plan," Gabriel said.

* * *

As they walked they came a group of fruit stands. And I would like to add that they didn't have the kind of fruit you're familiar with. Key example: one fruit looked like a pink-and-yellow watermelon with a blue inside, and orange seeds.

Jacob picked up an orange fruit. "What's this?"

"An amango," Raisho said.

"What?"

"It--uh, never mind."

As Jacob put the fruit back, something on the ground caught his eye. As he looked closer, he saw that someone had dropped a book under the stall. How did something like that manage to get there? He checked to see if anyone was watching. '_I don't think anyone would mind if I just nabbed it?_' Slowly, he stooped and picked the book up. He couldn't read the title; the cover was covered in scratches. He put it in his pocket for the rare occasions that he would be bored (in this new dimension).

"Oh, sorry."

That could only be Jordan's voice. As Jacob turned around, he saw that his friend had accidentally bumped into someone. She had purple eyes, twilight-orange hair done up in a spiky ponytail, a yellow scarf, green jeans, a belt, steel-toes tennis shoes, and a white t-shirt with light-blue fade-in/out binary code.

He blinked. '_I __**know**__ I've seen her before… I can't remember where, though…_'

While Jordan had sounded apologetic, the girl glared at him and said scornfully, "You should watch where you're going."

Jordan looked extremely offended. "Well, excuse _me_, Princess," he said as she turned away, "But at least I act a _little_ nice to other people, unlike _most of the people on this planet_!"

The girl stopped dead in her tracks. As Jordan turned, she turned as well. Toward Jordan. Jacob noticed this, but Jordan was too busy cooling himself off to see. She put her forefinger and middle finger together, extended them (like one would to 'shoot' a pretend gun, and the barrel was the two aforementioned fingers), and pointed them at Jordan's foot. Jacob saw her mouth some words (he couldn't make out what they were), and what looked like a 2-D, cartoon-like caricature of a lightning bolt came out and made a warpath for Jordan's ankle. Once the bolt made contact with his foot, the shoe _caught fire_!

"Uh…! Jordan, your foot!" Jacob warned his friend.

Fortunately for him, he stepped in a puddle _just_ as he started to pay attention. "Wha-? What about my foot?"

Seeing the sizzling footwear was extinguished, Jacob dropped the subject. "Never mind…"

The young woman, however, was, in a word, _seething_. '_I'll get you yet_…' She thought for a moment, begore dismissing her rage and continuing to look for what she wanted.

* * *

"Who was she?" Jordan looked like he would stroke out with rage at any given moment.

"God knows who she was." Jordan was in no mood for conversation after his 'altercation' with the mysterious girl.

"What's wrong with him?" Gabriel whispered to Jacob.

"He's always like this. Just ignore him and he won't vent on anyone," said Jacob.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" Jordan was becoming irritable again.

"It means that you're too irritable." said Jacob plainly.

"No, I'm n--oh, forget it…" finished Jordan, showing once again that he was in no mood for a conversation.

After Jordan's confrontation with the girl at the fruit stands, their small group had stopped at a nearby bench. While Raisho and Gabriel went over what they had gotten, Jacob had taken out the book he had found earlier. This predictably led to Jordan looking at it from over his shoulder.

Jacob immediately whipped his head around to make eye contact with Jordan. "It's rude to look over someone's shoulder, you know." Jacob was grinning the whole time he was saying this.

Jordan ignored the comment completely. "Where'd you get that book?"

"I…_found_ it?" Jacob just wanted privacy. Is that too much for one teenager to ask?

"_Where_ did you find it?"

"On… the _ground_?" Again, he was dodgy. But, of course, Jordan refused to relent.

"_Where_ on the ground did you find it? No, wait…don't answer that question. I don't think I need to know. Can I see it for a sec?"

"Not before _I'm_ done with it-- Where'd it go?!"

The two of them immediately glared in Raisho's direction, who was holding something behind his back. "Uh…h-hey, guys…heh heh?"

"Give it back Raisho. Please?" All Jacob wanted was to read a _frickin_' book in peace.

"Okay…huh?"

Oddly enough, at this point Jordan had swiped the book out from Raisho's very nose. Unfortunately for him, his efforts at reading the book ended in failure, as Jacob swiped the book out of _his_ hands, and slapped him with it. "No." He said plainly. "I _just _want to read this _in privacy_. Is that _so_ much to ask?"

Normally, Jordan would have said "yes", but he stayed silent. Satisfied, Jacob went back to reading the book, only to find that almost every chapter had been scribbled on (one looked like it had juice spilled on it), though at least seven chapters had been spared (one of them involved porridge).

"Did either of you do this?" Jacob asked Jordan and Raisho irritably.

"Did what?"

Jacob proceeded to show them what he meant.

Jordan's response was somewhat typical. "Looks like a baby barfed on almost every page." He was completely ignored.

Raisho, on the other hand, was more surprised. "I didn't do that!"

Quickly reaching the point of irritability that Jordan was at earlier, Jacob challenged his statement. "Prove it."

Jordan was examining the book before they even realized he had taken it. "Well, if you ask me, Raisho and I only so much as held this for a few seconds each, and from the look of things, it would've taken half an hour or more to mess up this thing. Another explanation is that Raisho has some freaky time-altering magic spell that I'm unaware of, but I doubt it."

"Trust me, I don't have a spell to alter time."

"Never mind, then. The old owner probably did it. Now, can we change the subject?"

"We can go into the spaceport itself, if you want," Gabriel suggested.

The conversation ended in agreement from everyone.

* * *

"So, what kind of ships are there?" Jacob asked Raisho.

"Gummi ships. I told you earlier, remember?"

"Well, I do. But, are they small? Huge? Details, please."

"The size on the ship depends on how you build it."

"And again, what are these ships made of?" Jordan asked.

This time it was Gabriel who answered. "Gummi blocks."

"Which are…?"

Rather than explain immediately, Gabriel pulled out what looked like a blue block. "This is a gummi block."

Jacob's response was that of disbelief: "That's it? That little thing?"

"It was my dad's."

"Oh… Sorry."

Gabriel just shrugged. "It's okay. Anyway, I don't really know how it works, but I think gummi blocks are supposed to stick together to make a gummi ship, or something."

"Okay, I don't really get it, but I get it… You know?"

Nobody knew.

"Okay, fine, then… can we go to the ship?"

"Yes." Raisho cut in. "This particular one is the Gummi Cruiser. It's sort of like a luxury cruiser version of a gummi ship."

"Cool!" Jacob wondered what the deep cosmos of space would look like.

Suddenly Jordan cut in. "Jacob, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Um, sure, I guess."

After the two of them moved out of earshot of anyone else, Jordan looked at Jacob and said, "Have we come to the conclusion that we aren't on planet Earth anymore?"

"And? Look, this place lets us pretty much fill out our fantasies. I mean, we can explore space! As kids! Not adults, _kids_! Now, take the opportunity to fulfill your deepest wishes, and stop being a party pooper."

Jordan looked taken aback. "I am _not_ a--"

"Yes you are."

"No, I-- oh, never mind. Now, as I was TRYING to say before you interrupted, since this obviously seems to be a completely different planet, why don't we just get on one of these gummi ships and look elsewhere? I seriously doubt that we can find that door thing here anyway, so we might as well give it a shot."

"So talking here is pointless then! Let's _go_!" And with that, Jacob ran off to join the others, before Jordan ran up beside him.

'_That was quicker than I thought…_' Jordan thought as they caught up with his friends.

* * *

"It's _huge_!" That was Jacob's reaction to the freaking huge gummi ship that was in front of him.

He wasn't joking. If you had asked me the exact height and width, I would say that the entire thing was 250 feet long from head to tail and 90 feet high. Plus, the whole thing could hold 600 passengers, not counting the crew in the cockpit, and the entire thing was lighter than 25 lead-lined pillows.

Tickets were relatively cheap, by some miracle.

As Jordan looked up at the massive ship, Jacob turned to Raisho and Gabriel and asked, "Can I ask you guys something? How can we get on if we don't have money?"

Raisho started to explain. "Well, it depends on the currency used. Do you guys have any money?"

"I have a twenty."

"Twenty what?"

"Twenty dollars."

"Can I see?"

"Sure. Remember the failed currency I tried to provide for the waitress back when we first met, Raisho? Well, the currency is 'dollars'. Here's a 20."

Raisho scanned it carefully. He brought it to a strange machine that scanned it, then showed the equivalent value of the bill in munny on the screen. "Well, this is good! It _would_ be 100 munny per person, but it's the equivalent of 10 dollars."

"Well, in that case, this should be enough for me and Jordan…" Jacob muttered. He then realized something. "Wait, what about you and Gabriel?"

Raisho then got what can only be described as a malicious grin. "You leave _that_ to _me_."

Jordan stopped him before he got started. "_No_. You are _not _stealing money from people. I don't _care_ if you have kleptomania, I _won_'_t_ let you steal things."

"But it's for a good cause!"

"You call _this_ a good cause?! It's not even a _bad_ cause!! Heck, I don't even know _how_ to describe it!!"

Jacob then took this opportunity to drag Jordan aside to warn him. "_Look_, it _is_ for a good cause. The cause being us being able to go home, under_stand_?!"

"I guess you have a point…" Jordan finally submitted to defeat. "But, even though I approve of the cause, I justhave a problem with the _execution_, that's all."

"I'm glad you see it our way." said Jacob as he finished the conversation. Just then, Raisho came over with a fist full of munny orbs, they looked divided into fourths, alternating with two being yellow, and the other two being blue.

"Here's enough! Let's pick a destination."

* * *

"Okay, lemme think, lemme think…" Jordan was pondering a destination.

"Jordan, just pick a name already." Jacob was starting to become impatient.

"You pick one then, if you're so impatient."

"Why do _I_ have to pick one?"

"Because you probably think I'm taking too long, anyway--"

"No, I don't."

"Okay, then."

"Well, alright, I _did_ think that--" "A_ha_! You admit it!!"

"Are those two always like that?" Gabriel asked. He got a combined answer of "Yes!" from both teens.

Raisho, getting annoyed by their arguing, strode over to the giant flight list the two teens were examining. "Do you guys want me to blindfold one of you, spin you around, and shove you into the list?"

"No…" Jacob thought it would be fun, but he kept that to himself.

"Sure, why not?" Jordan's voice practically dripped with sarcasm.

Raisho ignored him completely and faced the list. Keeping his eyes closed, he slapped his hands on a name at random. "Alright… 'Antylia'. That's where we'll go. The tickets will be listed as 'From: Gardaea. To: Antylia.' Got it guys?"

"Yea." Jacob agreed. '_Awesome_! _Now we know what this planet_'_s_ _name is_! _**And**__ we're going to another one_!' He was jumping with glee in his own head.

Jordan, however, couldn't care less. "Antylia? Sounds like a fancy drink served at Mexican dinner parties."

Gabriel had no idea what Jordan just said. "Mex-what?"

"Mexican."

"Oh…"

"Maybe we should get the tickets," said Raisho.

"Yeah, we should," added Jacob, as he looked over to the flight list. "It looks like our flight's going to leave soon."

"How long do we have?"

"Ten minutes from last Tuesday."

Dead silence.

"What? Why's everyone so quiet so suddenly?"

* * *

Let's ignore that odd comment from before and skip to when they enter the main hall of the gate.

Both Jordan and Jacob were arguing as they entered. "I'm _telling _you!" yelled Jacob, "that that girl from earlier was just having a bad day. I'm _sure_ most people are not like that."

"Not unless they have a tendency to be so rude that not even the Heimlich maneuver would be able to save them from a freelance plan that assigns employee seating."

Jacob full-blown ignored Jordan's comment. "Still, I don't think she's really like that _all_ of the time…" '_Come to think of it, she never gave her name…_', He thought.

Suddenly, Raisho asked, "Where is everyone?"

The entire hall seemed deserted. If this was a western, there'd be tumbleweeds. "Maybe they're closed," Gabriel suggested.

"Or the workers are on strike. One of the two." Jordan was ignored.

(They _were_ on strike, but they went on their coffee break when the others entered.)

"What do you think happened?" Jacob was becoming slightly freaked out by this point. Raisho was about to say something when two people entered the hall wheeling in a large black box seven feet high. As soon as they got to the center of the hall, they stopped, turned the box so that it faced the group, and left.

"I don't get it," said Jordan.

"Maybe there's a show or something?" Gabriel was also clueless to the situation.

_('Vegeta gets Bean' from DBZ starts playing)_

However, at the instant that Gabriel said that, the box opened. Specifically, it opened on the left side (facing the teens, so from the kids' perception, it opened on _their_ right, therefore the crate's left side). Now, one would _think_ that a box that was 8 feet tall and 4 feet on the other two dimensions, one wouldn't expect more than two people to come out, right? So, imagine our 'heroes' reactions when they saw not _three_, not _four_, but _**eight**_, completely identical people, all of them eight feet tall and in neon purple stretch suits and black tinted visors, exit the box. Jacob stood there, wide-eyed, but his mouth was still closed. Jordan was wide-eyed _and_ had his mouth agape. Raisho looked weirded out. Gabriel looked ready to defend himself. Azilla just scratched the back of her ear.

In Jacob's honest opinions, they looked like purple versions of Starmen from the Mother video game series. His thoughts were reinforced as they all put their hands on their hips and held their heads high. The box they all came in then started to glow, twist, and contort, until it finally formed the shape of one of those weird soldiers.

'_That one must be the leader_.' thought Jacob. Of course, this was just an educated guess. A guess, because this was without solid confirmation. Educated, because _this guy_'_s_ stretch suit was a cold, stark silver, he had sunglasses instead of a visor… oh, and did we forget to mention the _**Friggin' Huge Spikes of Death**_ ™ on his helmet? Well, _now_ we mentioned it, so there you go.

For one minute, total silence reigned. Then Jordan pretty much annihilated it, along with the tension and mood.

"Hey, what's up?" His remark caused his friends to face vault. (Azilla just glared at him.)

The silver leader then spoke (how he did so without a mouth is beyond even the writers). "Don't '_what's up_' US! We want that half-breed's bag to bring to Master Shardon. Now _hand it over_!"

Jacob noticed Raisho scowl at the term 'Half-breed'. '_Must be a sort of derogatory term_'. He thought. '_But what's with Raisho's bag? What's __**this **__dirt bag want with it?_'

Jordan decided to respond to the silver guy's statement in the only way he usually did. "Well, I'm sorry, but ya'll need to go and tell Mister Salmon that handbags are only half-off on Tuesdays, and are for women only. If you send a complaint later, it will be filed and ignored like the stubble on your chin." Jordan then snickered to himself, because he saw one of the soldiers writing what he said down on a notepad, only to be slapped upside the head by the one on his right.

The leader looked quite peeved, yet he kept his cool. "You clearly don't understand. I gave you an order; therefore, you must--"

"--You must turn around and give yourselves wedgies for a month." Jacob oh-so-tactfully interrupted him. The leader then started a sentence, but was interrupted again by Jacob. "What we have here is a failure to COMMUNICATE!"

The leader plainly snapped. "Silence, you fool! I have given you an order; you have no choice to obey. You cannot do otherwise. So I shall give the order again: Give us the bag."

"And I'll give you the same answer as they did. No." This unknown voice was then followed shortly by a blast of lightning, splitting up the 'platoon'. If this was Looney Tunes, one would be tempted to input a 'bowling ball strike' sound effect here.

_(The theme song for the Ginyu Force from DBZ starts looping in the background)_

A figure then landed in front of the teens. When the figure turned around, Jacob couldn't believe their luck. '_No_. _Flippin_'. _Way_! _It's her_!' Sure enough, it was the girl Jordan had a rough encounter with earlier.

"Hey, are you guys- oh, hold on a second." She pointed her index and middle fingers toward an enemy on the ground trying to get up (Jacob noticed it was how she pointed at Jordan's foot before), she yelled "PK Fire!" (which Jacob figured was what she muttered when she lit Jordan foot alight), and the same bolt caricature came out. Needless to say, the soldier went sailing away lightly coated in flames. "Now as I was saying, are you guys alright?" '_Why am I feeling like I'm forgetting something…_' she thought, and she remembered what quickly. "Oh, yeah, and… sorry for earlier. My name's Rika." The responses she got were thus. Raisho looked impressed with her spells, or whatever. Gabriel looked like she had shown off. Jordan looked like he was fearing for his life, and Jacob looked… star struck?

"H-how… did you do that?" Jacob finally worked up the courage to ask her.

"It's PSI. It's a sort of psychokinetic power. And no, you can't learn it, you have to be born with it. I really _wish_ I could teach it to a few people, though." Rika looked at Jacob. '_Like him, for example, he looks like he could use PSI Shield Omega…_'

"No…" This caused all of them to face the leader, who was lying in a heap and staring at them. "It…no…no one can disobey…it is impossible…"

"I'm sure it is," Jordan said, "and yet you seem to be incapable of the fact that you are the type of person who nobody likes or wants to listen to at all. Are we clear?"

The silver guy looked like he was about to respond, but Jacob interrupted by repeating, "What we have here is a failure to COMMUNICATE!"

Rika visibly snickered, but Jordan just said, "Stop saying that, Jacob."

"What?! It's funny…"

"It's just getting old, that's all."

"Alright, alright…"

"Well, _I_ thought it was _hilarious_." Rika then struck non-descript pretentious pose. "Therefore, your sense of humor is lacking. _Extremely_."

"Now, now, let's all try to be friends…" Jacob tried to diffuse the situation before it got physical. Lucky, he succeeded.

"Oh, fine. Besides, I have to go to Antylia to go to the Capshii Library anyway-"

"I'M STILL HERE!!" Everyone turned around to the silver leader. "And I ORDER you to--"

"Alright, turn around." The leader looked at Jacob. "Do it or she blasts you." He motioned over to Rika, whom he gave a quick wink. Thankfully, she got the hint. She pointed her fingers at him like before, but they began charging with electricity. "Oh, don't think she won't do it, man. She's crazy, loco, coocoo for cocoa puffs, man!" He said this with creepy jazz hands going. Rika caught on again and made a sinister-looking expression on her face. The leader got the hint. He turned around.

'_Oh, he's doing that thing I do to him just for confusion's sake…_' Jordan thought. "Now, walk forward 3 and ¾ paces." Jordan, getting in on the act, commanded the commander. Said commander did as Jordan said.

"Next, pick up that potted plant over there… and sleep under it." Rika then demanded of the general. She then realized how _fun_ this game of theirs this was. Granted, the aforementioned plant was at the other end of the hallway, so this was the perfect chance to escape.

"Shall we leave?" Jordan suggested.

"Why not?" Said Jacob and the rest.

And just in case you're wondering, the other purple guys were going through denial, so they weren't exactly able to do anything. And the silver guys was hibernating under a plant, so…yeah, pretty much that.

* * *

"I'm going to Antylia to go to the Capshii Library. What about you?" They had managed to get to their correct gummie cruiser, and Rika had restarted their conversation from earlier.

"Same here, except for the library thing. What're you going for?" Raisho questioned Rika back.

"I heard there was this ancient artifact to harness psychic energy and convert it into electricity for household appliances." She got up close and started to whisper to them next. "I want to get out of paying the electric bill at my apartment." This earned her a laugh from Jacob and Jordan. "What about you guys?"

"We're trying to look for something too, but it's --"

"It's _way_ more complex than _your _thingy." Jordan interrupted Jacob's explanation.

"Try me."

'_Oh, she's __**good**_.' thought Jacob.

"We are searching for an object so mighty and righteous that it shall shake all worlds to their foundations and crush all the evil within the gap between space and time, and the universe as we know it will be reborn. And it will be AWESOME." Jordan wasn't one for subtlety. Never was, probably never will be.

She just stared at him for a moment when she noticed Jacob doing bunny ears behind Jordan's head, quickly followed by the 'screwball by the ear' thing, which made her laugh senseless. This confused Jordan, until he turned around and saw Jacob trying (too late) to hide his mischief. The two got into an argument, and didn't stop until five minutes later, when an announcement was made over the P.A:

"All passengers, everyone is back from their coffee break. Passengers may now board their flights." Immediately afterward, there was a mad scramble for everyone to get on board. Needless to say, after much tripping and trampling, they all made it on board.

"And for heaven's sake, don't bring any yogurt on board for once, Dominique." This seemingly cryptic message from the P.A. was the last thing the teens heard before they boarded.

* * *

Jordan: …and that's about it.

Kaitlin: I can't believe this. Why didn't you tell me?

Jacob: You never asked. Also, Jordan forgot to tell you until now.

Kaitlin: How many other people know?

(Everyone raises their hands)

Kaitlin: Wha--even AZILLA knew?!

Jordan: Now Kaitlin, I know you're annoyed--

Kaitlin: I'm FAR from annoyed! You should have told me before!

Jordan: (Cringes)

Jaron: Hey, guys, I'm ba--

Kaitlin: Why didn't YOU say anything about this 'Gantz Gun' thing?

Jaron: Wha--Kaitlin--?

Jacob: Oh, dear…

Kaitlin: I'm not surprised that Jordan and Jacob wouldn't say anything about it, but why didn't YOU tell me?!

Jaron: Kaitlin, please! I'm sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind, lately--Jordan and Jacob never said anything?

Kaitlin: NO, they DIDN'T! I can't believe they--

Jaron: Kaitlin, stop. You're beginning to scare him.

Kaitlin: Who?… Oh… sorry. (almost instantly calms down)

Jacob: Okay, now that _that's_ out of the way, I'll go ask Rika and Gabriel if they would like to participate in the author's notes. (exits)

Raisho: Also an interesting note: The 'Rika' character in here is loosely based of the 'Rika Nonaka' character from the third season of Digimon, but is entirely separate. Therefore, this Rika OC belongs to Jacob and Jordan.

Max: Also the next Chapter should be up in 1 or 2 weeks.


	9. In Transit To a Planet

Jordan: (Working on something on a notepad) Hmmm…no…no, can't do that…I could ask him, though…

Jacob: (walks in, stretches) Hey, what's up?

Jordan: Oh, nothing. (Puts away the notepad)

Kaitlin: Maybe we should get this chapter underway. (Still looks slightly bad tempered)

Jordan: I'm guessing you're still mad?

Kaitlin: What was your FIRST clue?

Jacob: Yep, she's still mad.

Kaitlin: Of COURSE I'm still mad!!

Jordan: (Takes a step back)

Max: Hey, does anyone know where Jaron--

Jacob: Shh! She's still mad!

Kaitlin: Oh, I'm sure he's probably at that GANTZ GUN thing again--

Jaron: I'm right here, actually.

Kaitlin:…uh, never mind.

Jaron: By the way, I brought a visitor.

Max: Who?… Oh! Hey there!

??:…H-hi…

Jacob: Hello there- Uh-oh, time for us to start the chapter, guys.

Jordan: Let's hope the guys who run this site don't mess anything up today.

Max: Uh, Jordan, I don't think you should say that…

Jordan: (Snorts) What're they gonna do? Mess up the spell check?

Jacob: Or kick us off the site. (looks worried)

Jordan: Oh… well there is that… Also, we didn't mean for the title to rhyme--

Kaitlin: Can we PLEASE get started?!

* * *

Chapter 8

In Transit (To A Planet)

_('Android 16's theme' from DBZ starts playing)_

"SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE." Guess who was snoring? If you answered 'Jordan', you deserve to be put into a mental asylum for having psychic powers, you charismatic pyrokinetics.

_**(Jordan: Jacob… Wh-where is he-?**_

_**Jacob: I'm back! It turns out that Gabriel and Rika will be in the author's notes thing in the next block.**_

_**??: … Who are they? More people you guys know?**_

_**Kaitlin: You'll see when they get here.)**_

"So, Rika, what's this artifact that you're looking for called, anyway?" Jacob, after many awkward silences, managed to ask the sassy, PSI-wielding young woman.

"Don't know, don't care, and as long as I have free electricity, I'm all for finding it!" She looked at the two teens Jacob and Jordan. "So, where are you two from?"

Jacob looked like he was having a panic attack. "Uh… can you excuse us for a moment?" He then dragged off Jordan hurriedly. "What do we tell her? I hate lying to all of them about where we're from!" he said to Jordan in a harsh whisper.

"Well, we can either simply ignore the question, or not answer at all," Jordan suggested.

"It's the _same thing_!"

"Okay, I know that, but we can always not say anything."

"But I _hate_ that option!"

"You two don't have to hide anything from me, alright?" The two teens were scared stiff when Rika came between their lines of sight and spoke (albeit Jacob's response was delayed because of how close her face was to his own), and they both fell backward. "So, where're you guys from?"

Raisho and Gabriel noticed what their conversation was about. "Yeah, you guys never told us that!"

'_Oh, great, it's a gang-up_.' Jacob's was having a heart attack in his mind.

Jordan was delighted to explain. And by 'explain', we mean 'lie-through-his-teeth.' "Well, we come from a place where people ride on carpets, food comes in pill and capsule form, and the whole world is ruled by--"

"_DAMN_ DIRTY APES!!" The passengers exploded in chorus with that line, albeit the apes in the front (and one man in odd battle armor and a monkey's tail, oddly enough) were offended by the phrase.

'_How'd __**they **__know that line_?!' thought Jacob in amazement. He quickly dismissed it as he saw Jordan was shocked into sleep (Jacob had always teased him about being a narcoleptic). He looked at Rika. '_Should I…_?_ Or, shouldn't I…_?' He made up his mind to do something he had never, _ever_ done before, much less _thought about_: Go and do something behind Jordan's back. "Hey, Rika, can I… talk to you?"

"Sure."

Jacob looked at his surroundings shifty-eyed. "In _private_?"

_Now_ Rika was interested. "Oh, okay…" After they had gotten into a free hallway, Jacob began his revelation.

* * *

"Alright, I'm going to tell you where me and Jordan are from, but _don't_, and I mean _**don't**_ tell him you know, alright?" he said in a worried tone.

"Don't worry- Jacob, was it?" Said teen nodded. She gave a wave to signify she was okay. "Don't worry Jacob. You and Jordan's secret will be safe with me."

There was something about the fact she said his name (or how she said it, he couldn't tell which) that had him just zone out for about 4 seconds, until he got his focus back and started to tell her. "Me and Jordan, we're… not from around here."

"I figured that."

"No, I mean, we're not from Gardaea, or Antylia , or _anywhere _here in this _universe_, for that matter!"

"Again, I say that I figured that."

Jacob just looked dumbstruck. "You… already know that? Did Jordan already tell you?"

"No, I figured it out. Then again, it wasn't all that hard, with the way you two _acted_, as well as dressed, and you guys' eating habits didn't help, either. All you did was confirm my suspicions."

"When did you begin to suspe-?"

"From the beginning, when your friend Jordan yelled that _insult_ at me." She frowned slightly, then got back to her original mood. "He sounded like he was new to Gardaea, too, by the way he said it." Again, Jacob was amazed at Rika's intellectual abilities. She had managed to figure out their secret from, not Day 1, but _Minute _1.

"Please, if you don't mind me asking…?"

"Hmm? What, Jacob?"

'_There she goes, saying my name again…_' "Would you like…?" He hurried out the next part, almost as one word. "…to join our group and travel with us until me and Jordan find what we're looking for??"

_('Mystic Gohan's theme' from DBZ starts playing)_

She looked up at him with… a _twinkle_ in her eye? "I _really_ wish I could, but I gotta find that artifact first." She noticed the downtrodden look in Jacob's face. She instantly thought up of something to say. Except it wasn't _just_ something. It was a promise. "Tell you what, Jacob." She _swore _Jacob's face changed hues of color when he looked up at him this time. "I'll meet up with you at the Capshii library, since we're both going to the same planet. I'll join your little _escapade _then, 'kay?" She then gave a reassuring smirk (complete with a suggestively raised eyebrow) that made Jacob go another shade further into the red color spectrum. "Let's go back to Jordan and the others, I'm guessing they're probably wondering where you are."

"Actually, knowing Jordan, I'm betting that he, Gabriel, and Raisho are placing bets if I got sucked out into space through a) the window, b) the engine exhaust, or c), _his_ most likely answer, the toilet." This caused both of them to laugh.

"Haha! Yeah, I can imagine you trying to swim through space trying to catch up to the ship! Hahaha!"

"Wha-?"

Rika momentarily stopped her laughing. "Boy, you really _are_ from another universe altogether!" She reached over to another window. "Watch _this_."

"No! Don-!" Too late. Rika opened the latch on the window. Jacob wrapped his arms around his head to prevent the cool, relaxing breeze of space from kill- wait, cool, relaxing breeze?! Jacob let his arms down (and unclosed his eyes) to see Rika, holding her hand out and sticking her head out of the window.

"Wanna see something _I bet _you couldn't back home?"

Jacob nodded happily as he took her hand and she lifted his head part way out the window. What he saw amazed him.

* * *

Serene. That was the one word Jacob would use to describe the various cosmic clouds he saw out the window. Various colors of yellow, green, red, and even some that didn't even have a name in the _spectrum_ yet. The way they floated out in space, it seemed like an infant's dream, manifested into physical form.

"Cool, isn't it?" Jacob was snapped out of his trance when Rika asked him this.

"Oh! Yeah, you're right! This is great. Thank you for showing this to me. It's beautiful." '_But not as much as her… I __**wish**__ I could say that aloud…'_

"Alright, you. That's enough stargazing for you. Literally! Hehehe!" Rika giggled at her joke as she pulled Jacob out of the window. Jacob joined her in laughing as he shut the latch on the window.

"Wanna know why I was scarred out of my mind when you opened the window?"

"Why?"

"That stunt usually results in _instant death_ 'back home.'" Rika cringed as they started walking back to Jordan, Gabriel, and Raisho.

* * *

To Rika's surprise, Jacob's prediction had been right on the money! Jordan had a betting booth all set up with Raisho and Gabriel, with a few random apes from earlier doing the betting. The three teens even had green accountant visors to complete the effect. From what Jacob could surmise, Raisho and Gabriel had bet on 'out the window' (oh, if they only knew how _close_ to the right answer they were!), the apes bet on the engine's exhaust, and Jordan, just had Jacob had foretold, had gone with the 'out through the space-toilet, click-click-click' suggestion.

_**(Jacob: What would you guys have bet on if you all were in this scene?**_

_**Jaron: I'd say you would have gone through the window.**_

_**Kaitin: (back to her normal mood) The toilet. It seems… fitting for you, for some reason…**_

_**Jacob: (glares at Kaitlin shortly, then looks at Rika) What choice would YOU have picked?**_

_**Rika: That you would have survived everything, then surprised everyone in the WORST possible manner. (Smiles triumphantly at Jacob, gives a thumbs-up)**_

_**Gabriel: AWWWWWWWWWW!! How cute!!**_

_**Jacob and Rika: (Blushing madly) Shush, you…**_

_**Raisho: You've already got wings… what's next, Gabriel? You'll get a bow and sash, and start calling yourself 'Cupid'?**_

_**Gabriel: Actually, now that you mention it…**_

_**Raisho: You know what? Forget I said anything. PLEASE.**_

_**Rika: Nice going. REAL smooth. WAY to wreck the mood, Raisho. REAL helpful.**_

_**Jordan: But seriously, though… 'out through the space-toilet, click-click-click'?**_

_**Jacob: Down through the chimney with good Saint Nick!**_

_**Rika, Jacob, and Jordan: (massive mess of cracking up)HAHAHA!!**_

_**Kaitlin: I don't get it.**_

_**Jaron: Neither do I, really…)**_

"Everyone! Place your bets! I'm taking all amounts, and all amounts of amounts!!" Jordan was yelling out announcements to the betters.

"Mind if I place a bet on you?" She held up a 50 munny orb.

"Wha-?! You're betting on how I'd _die_?!"

"Quite the opposite, Jacob." She said, again adding that oh-so-irresistible smirk (again, with the raised eyebrow) and saying his name again. "You'll see. Watch this." Jacob had figured out (by now) that this signaled that Rika was about to do something either drastic… or unexpected. "_I'll _bet on the boy's fate!" The _entire_ crowd (including the three bet collectors known as Jordan, Raisho, and Gabriel) looked to her. Before Jordan, _specifically_ him, got his sight on her, Rika quickly motioned to Jacob to hide behind her. She whispered for him to say something unexpected when she gave him the signal to pop out, then added she's add a playful, non-lethal explosion to add a dramatic effect. He _happily _agreed.

"Well? What say you, ma'am?" piped up one of the taller apes.

Jordan recognized her immediately. "Well…" He fumbled in his mind for her name. "…Rika?"

"I say… he'll live."

"And, fair girl," one of the shorter apes called out, "Makes you say that?"

"I'll know Jacob's alive," said Jordan, "When I see him."

"_Now_, Jacob!" She muttered to said teen in a whisper.

He popped behind her, yelling the first (random) thing that came to mind: "I LIKE CEREAL!!"

"PK _Fire_!" This was promptly followed with a firework. At close range, that is. All inhabitants we covered in a thin layer of soot.

Needless to say, Jordan was thankful for Jacob's safety, but he couldn't help but laugh at the sheer _randomness_ of Jacob's statement. Each guffaw knocked his visor off, little by little, until it eventually fell off. Even Rika was laughing '_I like cereal?! Ahahahah!! That doesn't- hahaha- mean anything, but… hah… it's still ridicul- whahahaha!!_' That was all Rika could think at the moment, her mind temporarily paralyzed by laughter. Pretty soon, the whole cabin was in a joyous uproar of laughter.

* * *

The trip to Antylia took more than a day (it's space travel, not teleportation!), so the cabin announced that it was the scheduled time for the inhabitants to sleep. The seats all automatically folded back (which reminded Jacob and Jordan of the airlines 'back home') to form makeshift beds. Conveniently placed pillows and one sheet per seat were dispensed from the ceiling. The group's sleeping situations were thus: Jacob was next to the window (on his left), then, from the left, on down to the right was so: Jacob, Rika, Raisho, Gabriel, and Jordan (since he preferred isle seats, and Jacob preferred window ones).

Jacob was staring out into space (literally) again, when he felt a light tug on his shirt.

"Oi, you've stargazed enough today. Go-dah bed." Rika commanded him, albeit _very _groggily.

"Oh, sure." Jacob, equally as groggy, responded. While laying down, he and Rika shared indirect eye contact for a brief moment while turning in their sheets. The last thought had Jacob _almost_ stay awake.

'_She's… the girl… from that… dream I had… before I wound… up here…_' And thus, sleep consumed him. His reward for the revelation? An _exact_ replica of the dream, except for _one_, little thing:

_(Fast forward to near the end of the dream)_

'_I'm Jacob_… _Hey, what's your name, miss_?'

'_I'm Rika, and it's a pleasure to meet you_!'

'_It's nice to meet you too, Rika!_'

Needless to say, he went to sleep smiling the whole time.

* * *

"Jacob, wake up."

"Mipflillywiflwelle weh?" For some reason, Jordan had decided on waking him up at 6:00 A.M. "What is it, Jordan?"

"Someone's hiding in the storage compartment."

"So?"

"Don't you think that's a bit weird?"

"And _everything else _in this universe_ isn't_?"

"You don't even know if we are in another universe, Jacob. _Anyway_, I need you to give me a boost. The compartment's too high."

"For all you know, it could be someone else's pet beaver, or… _pet something_. I don't know the animals everyone keeps as pets!"

"Can't you help me anyway?"

"Only to satiate your adventurous streak."

"Wuh…?" Rika had chosen this fine moment to wake up. She awoke to the sight of Jacob giving Jordan a boost into the storage compartment. "You guys had luggage?"

"No, somebody's hiding in here," Jordan said calmly.

Rika sniffed. "Who'd want to hide in _there_? It smells like century-old gym socks."

"It's probably a leprechaun trying to hide their gold." Jacob so blandly came up with an explanation on-the-spot to change the subject.

No such luck. "Well, I guess that's a good idea, since almost no one checks up there."

"Maybe it's a midget." Jordan's reply was ignored… _completely_.

* * *

??: Am I a midget?

Jacob: Heavens no! You're just short for your age. You'll get a growth spurt soon.

Jordan: Well, _this_ was certainly a _fluffy_ _cutie_ of a chapter, wasn't it folks?!

Jacob: (Blushes) Pipe down, you!

Rika: (stops blushing) A quick notice. The random line Jacob yelled at Jordan was from a character known simply as 'Cheese' from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. The phrase caught popularity with _us_, however, when an internet user known by 'Alvin-Earthworm' used this in his Super Mario Bros. Z series (albeit it was a quickened, high-pitched version, which only made it funnier). This inspired us to use it here.

Jacob: The guy's a master at making fight scenes with just _sprites_… and yet, also a comedic _genius_! (thumbs up) You rock, man!

Jordan: Again, all music belongs to their respective parties, no stealing OCs, you know the drill…

Jacob: The disclaimer is _horrifically_ _**boring**_!!

??: Do we have to do… the disclaimer thing… on a regular basis, Jaron?

Jaron: (gives an exasperated sigh, puts a hand on ??'s shoulder) Unfortunately, yes. I wish we could just but it all at one chapter, so we don't have to keep doing this over and _over _again. You guys _do_ know what I'm talking about right?

Raisho: …like an _entire chapter _we could just continually update as time goes on?

Jaron: (points at Raisho) EXACTLY!!

Jacob: Well, it _will_ interrupt the flow of the story… hmm… Oh! How about we just put them all at the bottom of the profile page?

Jaron: …I'm fine with that.

Jordan: It is… acceptable.

Kaitlin: Sure, why not.

Jacob: (sarcastically) Yippee, _more_ work for me and Jordan to do…

Max: Again, the chapter should be up in one or two weeks. Hey, do you guys think this chapter was a bit short?

Jacob: That's what _I_ said!

Jordan: Maybe we're getting lazy...

Jacob: Maybe _you_ are, but...

(Mass brawl insues)


	10. Long Live Concrete!

Jordan: (munches on his lunch) Mmm, good burger.

Jacob: (arms fall limp at his side) Ugh! _Finally_ done typing the disclaimers…

Rika: About _freaking _time! It took you three times as long to just _find_ them all!

Jaron: The fact is that the guys finally finished, which means we can get on with the next chapter.

Jordan: Let's get started, then…

* * *

Chapter Nine

Long Live Concrete!

_('Gai's theme' from Naruto starts playing)_

"Attention passengers, we have landed at our destination. Please unload your belongings and leave via the exits in an orderly fashion. And for heaven's sake, Drew, don't drool over the dashboard like last time."

"Hey, its not _my_ fault that the juice can be mouth watering…"

"Do these two _have_ to give their private conversations over the P.A?! Haven't they heard of turning the mic _off_?!" Jacob wondered aloud.

"Heh, that's just them. You done looking, Jordan?" Rika then turned her attention to said teen, who was like Indiana Jones in the Pharaoh's Tomb.

"Erg!… I.. _know _I… saw someone… in here. Gah!" He finally came out (or up) for air. "Must've been wrong."

"Well, now that you're done looking," Raisho then got Jordan's attention by speaking up. "Let's go look around."

"Everyone, please leave the ship in an orderly fashion" was what was heard over the P.A. What _followed_,however, was quite different. It would only be described as a mass stampede. Luckily, our 'heroes' weren't hurt.

"Well, looks like this is goodbye." Rika looked slightly disheartened.

"For now." Jacob added, warm smile included.

"Here, I want to give you something." She reached into the fanny pack behind her (yes, she's always had that there), and pulled out--

'_It's the instrument she was playing in my dream_!' Jacob yelled in his mind. Yes, it was indeed the wooden ocarina from his dream, except it looked _much_ more detailed in real life. It was a basic dark brown color,seemingly from high quality wood, but she had taken the time do make indentations and lines in to make it look like soil. There were minute flower petal designs surrounding each hole, making it seem like one was pressing down flowers to play. On the mouthpiece, there were grass designs (along with green paint) to complete the natural (literally) look of the instrument.

"As a going away present, I want you to have this. I set up a shack in Capshii, near my apartment, to sell these for spare cash. This is the first functioning homemade one, and I want you to have it."

"W-wait- Seriously?!" He stuttered as he was handed the ocarina. "It looks beautiful. I can't believe you made this yourself. It's _gorgeous_!" '_Again, just like its maker_.' He thought to himself. "I'll treat it as delicately as possible."

"Good." She said with a heartfelt smile. Then she leaned in close and whispered her point across. "If it does get broken, I'll break _you_." Seeing the scared reaction from Jacob's face, she stuck her tongue out to let him know she was joking. After hugging each other goodbye (every moment of which Jacob savored greatly), she faced northeast and yelled, "PSI Teleport!" and ran forward with incredible speed for a second, before she disappeared, leaving a burning path in her wake.

"Did that remind you a little bit of 'Back to the Future,' Jordan?" He asked the aforementioned partner-in-crime.

"I guess." Jordan sound a bit distracted at the moment.

"Something wrong?"

Jordan shook his head. "No, no, it's nothing…" Jacob noticed that he kept glancing at a spiky-haired man in an orange outfit leaving the ship. "Is there something about that guy bothering you?"

"Huh? Ah, no. Well, there is something about that guy I find odd…"

"What?"

"No idea what _precisely_, but there's definitely something…"

* * *

Once Goku had managed to get into a private place after leaving the plane (in other words, the bathroom), he took out his bag and, checking to see that there was no one there, opened it and helped the one inside it out.

"T-thanks, Mr. Goku…"

"No problem, and please, just call me Goku."

"O-oh, okay, Goku."

Now, you may be wondering: who is this mysterious individual? Well, I'll say he's blonde, and he's been mentioned _somewhere_ in this fic before, but that's it.

_**(Jacob: Okay, I know we did DBZ for some of the music, but when did GOKU get in here?!**_

_**Jordan: Not my fault, he came and asked.**_

_**Jacob: …Seriously?**_

_**Jaron: Don't worry. He only said he'd stay for about one or two chapters.**_

_**Jacob: Well… if you say so…)**_

"So… now that y-you're here… where are you h-headed off t-to?" The mystery lad asked the unsung warrior.

"Well, nothing really, just finding my granddaughter, Pan. She said she'd meet me here," He stood up, surveying the area. "But, I don't see her around. Hmm…"

"Mayb-be she's… at a ho-hotel…" Stuttered the stowaway.

"Mmm… maybe…" pondered the humble saiyan. Then he realized something. "Hey, you don't have anyone to travel with, do you?" The thus-unnamed boy nodded. "In that case, you can with me if you want!" He offered cheerfully, with a grin that was showing his teeth.

The stowaway couldn't be more happy. "Th-thank you, Goku!"

* * *

_('Afternoon of Konoha' from Naruto starts playing)_

"Hey, do you know where _exactly_ on Antylia we are at the moment?" Jacob finally brought up the million-dollar question after a straight _hour_ of boredom. Seriously, when you're with Jordan for an extended period of time, that's a rarity in and of itself.

"Well, there's always that map salesman over yonder." Gabriel then pointed out a man that, to Jacob looked like the personified definition of a hobo. He had shaggy black hair, badly kept back with a tan 'bowler hat', and suspenders with green elastic straps.

"Hey, sir can we get a map of this planet?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes! Yes, you can, my good sir. I _am_, after all, Mapson, the map salesman." Meanwhile, Jacob noticed (but did _not_ call attention to) Raisho sneaking around, reaching into Mapson's back pocket, and pulling what looked to be 500 munny. The furry master pickpocket then slunk back to the group. "Now then," Mapson continued, seemingly unaware that his wallet became a fourth lighter than usual, "My maps don't come cheap. 500 munny's the goin' rate."

Before the group's faces changed to sheer terror, Raisho perked up with his 'ill-gotten' gains. "I think we can handle the cost."

"Well, I'll be! Shoot, here ya go! I even marked where you currently are." He joyfully handed over the map to the group, totally unaware that it was free.

"Thank you." Jacob then took the map, then started to walk away a bit to read it. "Okay, let's see where we are…" As Jacob read the map, Jordan started to berate Raisho for his theft.

"Why--I need to repeat--WHY did you rob that guy?! We could've been able to pay for it, you--"

"Do you _honestly_ believe we could've materialized, out of _nowhere_, enough munny to pay for it?" Raisho argued back. "_Do_ you?"

"…Er…not until I see it happen, so…"

"Guys, I think we found where we are, and where we need to go." Jacob came over with the map.

"Where?" Jordan asked.

Jacob pointed to a small red dot. "Here, some town named Outpostaulk."

"Weird name."

"Always the same with you, Jordan…"

"What was that, Jacob?"

"Nothing…" He held the map up again. _'Now, she said she'd be going to the library… so where--.' _"Aha! Here it is."

"Here's what?" Jordan asked.

"Capshii."

"So?"

"…There's a library there."

"And there's a library back home. Your point?"

"Look, nimrod, there might be info about that door there, so we should head North as fast as possible."

"It's on a whole other continent! And besides, you don't even know if there's information about it there--"

"Door? What door?" Raisho and Gabriel had been listening, obviously.

"_A_ door. We'll leave it at that." Jordan said shortly. He turned to Jacob. "Well, since we don't have any other ideas, I'll go with it… except, where's North?"

Jordan had a point. Jacob was getting more and more irritated as the minutes flew by, "Er… great, we'll have to buy a compass. _And_ we have to find munny for a boat. _More_ delays!"

Raisho added his two cents. "I'll get one for--"

Jordan stopped him mid-sentence. "No, you are not stealing one."

"I have munny." Gabriel added to the conversation.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Jacob sighed in relief. "Let's go get a compass. What stores sell them?"

They managed to get the compass, although it was appallingly expensive, something Jordan kept complaining about.

"It's robbery, I tell you!"

"No," retorted Jacob, "What Raisho does is robbery. _This _is price gouging."

"I take offense to that last statement, guys." Raisho complained.

"Well, you do steal stuff." Jacob added.

"He's got you there, Raisho," Jordan stated.

"…Oh, be quiet…" said the furry thief.

"Let's get focused, guys. Now that we have a compass, we need to get munny for a boat ride to…" Jacob referred to the map again. "…Fiteara, as the continent is called. Then we have to take a boat from there to Capshii."

"Good plan," Jordan added. "But, where's the nearest boat rental stand?"

"In the next chapter."

"Whuh?"

"Never mind."

* * *

Jacob: Clever way to end a chapter, huh?

Rika: Yes. I happen to be a fan of breaking the fourth wall. What's your opinion, Jordan?

Jordan: (just now wakes up) Eh? Wha? Whoer you?

Gabriel: Did you just wake up from a nap, or something?

Jaron: (Enters) Hey guys! I'm back from talking with Ga-- (looks disappointed) I missed that chapter, didn't I?

Kaitlin: Yes, yes you did.

Raisho: Well… at least this means you'll be back for next chapter.

Jaron: Well, there's _that_…

Max: Again, the next chapter should be up in one or two weeks... And have I been demoted to the 'deadline' guy? Also, this chapter was even shorter than the last one!

Jordan: No, everyone is just lazy. And _don't you **dare** say anything_!! (Points at Jacob)

Jacob: (sarcastically) Oh, poo...

Rika: What's you guy's secret?

Jordan: It will rock the earth to its foundations, and--

Jacob: I do a lot of push-ups and sit-ups, _and _I drink plenty of juice. (laughs)


End file.
